piper ewan

believe that everything is possible in 2012

2012-01-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

Behind the scenes here in Piper Ewan land, I have been slowly coming to terms with the changes that I am needing to make in my business that I have been working on with numerous distractions for the last while. I have finally given up on the idea of an ETA or a deadline. The best I can do is keep on task. I have made every attempt to live my life on my own terms, and have been attempting to run my business on my own terms since I started back in 1998. There has been some straying from this here and there in order to try things out against my better judgment or out of necessity or both. I have followed along my tangled path, and have learned quite a few things along the way:

* Planning ahead makes things easier.

* Things almost never go according to plan.

* Try new things.

* For fun projects often turn into the best product lines.

* If something doesn't work after a million tries, let it go.

* Let go of as many things as possible; letting go of things allows for growth and for them to hang around on their own terms, and their solutions come easier.

* If I feel pulled towards something/someone check it/them out.

* Opportunities will present themselves in strange ways.

* With time design solutions present themselves.

* You can actually meet amazing people on the internets (see below).

* It is good to have hobbies; not everything I make needs to be developed into a product.

* People DO remember when you are nice and handle bad situations gracefully.

* Everything takes longer than you want it to.

* Shortcuts take longer than following all the steps, and end in an inferior end product. (true for sewing, true for business)

That isn't everything, but enough for this post. Writing them down, because it is the advice that I find myself giving others from my own experience, but would do well to follow myself. I have gotten way better. My resolve is firm.

In the photo: I have met some really amazing people on the internet who have turned into IRL in real life friends. My friend Shana Hampton is working on this crazy embroidery project for the new year. I was surprised to receive one, but super excited to have this piece grace my altar of things. Sharing the shelf with the embroidered inspiration is THE LOOKOUT a christmas gift from my best friend who was super excited to give him/her to me; made by the amazing Gesine Kratzner check out some of her sculptures.

1911 Corset Sew Along Fitting & Altering the Mock Up

2012-01-18T13:32:00.000-08:00

Now I am on to the boring and tedious part of the process of things. If you were ever wondering why it takes me so long to get a new design out into the world here it is in a nutshell, AND this isn't a pattern that I am developing. This is an already existing pattern that I am altering to fit myself. No working up a new design. No fitting of numerous different size bodies. Not testing of the durability of particular materials. Just saying.

So back to this lovely 1911 corset. I tried on the muslin, and the bottom half fit too loosely in the hip. Now it is my habit to make my muslins err on the side of to big, because it is easier to take in than let out (though here we have huge 1" seam allowances). It was way too dark to get a photo, but did you really want to see a photo of me in an ill fitting muslin? All of the lines of the main pieces fit in the right places, so I decided go back to the original pattern, and redraft the hip gores.

This time when I put the gores in they weren't as perfectly matched at the corners, so don't judge. The fit here is pretty good. (The back flares a bit because I attached the lacing strips underneath instead of on top of the muslin.) My next step is to re-draft the pattern to reflect all the changes. Pretty simple right? It is kind of nice to only have to do this once. In making a new design, I might have to repeat this process several times before having a final pattern.

I have been doing a bit of research, and making a photo pin board on Pinterest with some inspirations from the era. I am tempted to make a garment to wear over my new corset, because hey, wouldn't it be fun to dress up as a 1911 person, and go to the grocery store?

1911 Corset Sew Along - The Mock Up

2012-01-12T15:08:00.000-08:00

So or those of you who hadn't seen this yet, I am doing this fun sew along project that goes along in bite sized pieces through January and February, and I should end up with a 1911 corset for the Titanic centennial. So far, I have drafted the pattern in my size and have made a mock up which is called a "muslin" which is what one does to ensure proper fit of a garment made in some sort of cheaper fabric to practice on so one doesn't ruin expensive fabric.

As I said before in a previous post, I am only posting a couple of photos of my progress on the mock-up process. You can see the entire how and why on the original blog: http://bridgesonthebody.blogspot.com/

Here is the muslin cut out. I drafted the pattern in my size, but had to add 2" to the bottom to ensure that it was long enough for my long waist. The original was designed for a quite smaller frame. I like to use striped herringbone ticking for my corset mock-ups so that you can see the grain lines, and it holds up to fitting with boning and lacing. The mock-up muslin is being sewn with a 1" seam allowance so that there is room for letting out if needed.

The front all put together.

And the back. I like the look of the stripes.

I had to post a photo of one of the hip gores, because I got all of seams at the point on all of the hip gores to match perfectly. I kind of wonder if I jinxed myself here, and will have to pick out the seams a zillion times on the actual piece.

Here is the fabric I chose. It is an Italian cotton shirting that this photo doesn't do justice. It is a beautiful woven stripe that looks like necktie silk. Not period fabric, but definitely in the spirit of 1911. Let's see if I lose my mind trying to match stripes..

1911 Corset Project

2012-01-05T13:00:00.000-08:00

I came across this blog when I was doing research for my new corset line. I have been reading it here and there. I hadn't checked it in a while, but came across this sew along last week. And because it is in nice bite sized pieces, I decided it would be fun to do. The 1911 corset is to go along with the centennial of the Titanic this year. When I mentioned that to a friend, he asked if there would be any re-enactments. Not sure that is something that I would really like to re-enact, but to each their own I suppose. I am not sure if I will make an outfit to match, though that might be fun too..

I had a bit of a time choosing the fabric, because the period specific ones are kind of boring for my tastes, but I found some really lovely Italian cotton stripe that will be somewhat true to the time, but I am more interested in something that I would wear v. something period correct. It will make for a double layer rather than the single layer that the piece calls for, but every corset I have made has at least three layers, so no big deal.

So often, I am asked what my favourite fashion era is. I like to say RIGHT NOW, because I can pick and choose elements from all my favourite eras. I am not into the whole mish-mash thing, but fashion and personal style are pretty fluid; with things blending together rather than stark lines being drawn between each decade. Each era draws on the past and interprets it in their own fashion. There are those purists out there, but have you watched a period drama from before now that doesn't look dated to the era that it was made?

There is an official flickr pool for this. I will post my progress here on my blog and in the flickr pool when I have something a bit more interesting than pattern pieces made of tracing paper. I am really excited to see what everyone else does. There are people from all over the world participating!

Holidays in Review

2012-01-04T18:47:00.000-08:00

I am not the most fond of the holidays; I have spent too many years in one form of retail or another, and the holidays boil down to two things for me: 1. I have to make a ton of stuff. 2. I have to sell the stuff. A long time ago when I was in college, I started making all of my Christmas gifts myself because I was too burnt out on selling to do much shopping. Nowadays, I still make quite a bit of my holiday gifts, but not all of them. This year was especially cumbersome even though I only did two shows. I spent November getting my ready for these shows with machine-like mindlessness, because that is how I do the holidays. But I also did a little business workshop with some of my fellow I Heart Art: Portland friends. I spent most of my year recovering from 2009 and 2010; regaining a bit of stability in an unstable climate, but I was really ready to focus on what it was that I really wanted to do with Piper Ewan.

For so long I have been fighting the battle with myself about what I really want to make v. what I think will sell since I have to contend with people constantly telling me that what I make is way too expensive, or I have to make a dumbed down version so they can be at an affordable price point. Not that hand crafted ribbon flowers and garters are dumb, but I cannot feed my soul on churning out the same thing over and over and over ad nauseum. I had to admit to myself that I hate doing shows. I agreed to do the shows, because my lovely sales rep, Iris agreed to do them with me. She could talk with enthusiasm about the things that I was so burnt out on. She could be my buffer to the ladies who want to tell me that I should make baby headbands.

Oh the shows. I hate them. I can admit this now. This makes me feel so conflicted. It is always so good to see everyone. This is the only time I get to see so many friends in this community. This is a community that I have been a part of for so long. It is a community that I helped create in a way. I have hosted my own shows. I get to see clients and customers who I truly love. I get to see what everyone is up to, and what they are making. I get to hear how much the lucky recipients of my goods loved their gifts last year, and how they wanted more. I get to hear about the compliments they get when they wear the things I have made. I love this, I do. I have a hard time going to shows that I am not selling in, because I feel like I am missing out. So what is it that I hate so much about shows? They are exhausting for one. Weeks of insanity leading up to them. Dragging in all the things, setting up, tearing down. But the thing that I like the least are some of the bad interactions I have with people. The people who won't make eye contact, the people who are dead set on telling you what is wrong with what I am making, that my prices are too high, and if I would only... I feel like I am on display like some sort of circus freak that has this ability to do something that is out of reach to society at large, and this creeping suspicion that everyone wants a piece of me. Some people get all excited, because they think they found the person that can magically produce the product that they thought of, but think they cannot do themselves. This may or may not be true, but I have ideas of my own; more than I can possibly produce. That is what drives me to do what I do, not to be a vehicle for someone elses' pipe dreams.

Every year I say that this year will be the last. Forever I have doubted as to whether my work fits in this model. I have been coming to terms with the fact that I make LUXURY GOODS. This has been hard for me to admit. But the part that kills me is that I feel like I have been holding myself back, and dumbing myself down in order to try to fit in/make a meagre living off making things. I get most excited when I am challenged by something. I love making detailed work, and it is a tedious time-consuming endeavour.

I have done a good lot of studying tradition business practices over the time I have been in business, and I am not sure that traditional applies. The system that sort of worked is now failing. That failing system has been telling me to compromise forever. I don't really feel that I want to compromise anymore. It doesn't seem to help a whole lot. So I am going for it. Does that mean I won't do another show? Well, I have one coming up in February, so probably not. Not sure what the holidays will bring in 2012; that's a ways away. Will I not be making garters and flowers anymore? Of course not! I will just be more focused on other things. I have to at least try to lead the life I want to live.

My Troubled Relationship with Discount Sales

2011-11-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

It is so hard to not get sucked in. I can have my resolve in place, but then people keep asking "When is this going to go in sale?" My answer is that it isn't. This is really hard as a person who sells things to not have sales. The pressure comes from all sides. It comes from customers, from fellow craftspeople, from society. With things out there like Groupon and Living Social. From all of the Peer pressure to participate in Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales. It reenforces the idea that it is not okay to make your living selling things. That may sound hyperbolic, but that is what it boils down to. We are pushed on all sides to think that price is the only factor, and you cannot sell anything if you aren't constantly lowering your prices in order to get people to buy your goods. This is unsustainable. At some point, the price will be too low to make a profit. The price will be too low for your work to have any value. And if you make all of your product by hand by yourself, you cannot follow the model of mass produced goods. And in order for an item to be put on sale, it is either overpriced to mark down or the person making it is not making enough money on it.

Mass produced goods have several things you don't have if you make things yourself. They have access to cheap supplies and cheap labour. They have more room to make lower margins because they the advantage of a high sales volume.

The next argument is that if you price your goods properly, you can afford to have a sale now and then. I would like to argue that you might be able to afford it in dollars, but not in perception. I have my good priced properly; all of my materials are accounted for (usually materials are less than 10% of my product, it is all labour), my labour on the piece itself, the design process are all in the wholesale price while paying myself a living wage. You double the wholesale price to get the retail price. The retail price covers my time to photograph, market, sell etc. my products to the general public. If you are a store, you get that retail mark up to cover the costs of running your retail business.

But can you afford the perception that your product is not worth it's retail price? That is what sales say. If you are constantly having sales, then why would anyone ever pay full retail? This is another perception that I would like to figure out how to change peoples' mentality around. And is this the customer that you want to attract? I don;t know about you, but I am trying to establish long term relationships with people who will continue to follow me and support me over time; not just a quick one-off sale at a loss.

How do you establish the perception of the worth of your product? Take cost out of the equation for a moment, and focus on the product. Can you tell me why it is special? How long did it take you to develop the skills to make this? What do your particular sensibilities bring to your product line? What emotions does this evoke? How can we stop trying to compete with the mass production model? I don't have all of the answers here, but I think it is important to consider these questions. If we do not value our work, then we cannot expect anyone else to either.

I am not saying that you shouldn't have the occasional sale. Discounting goods on occasion can be a good tool in your business toolbox. This is one you should use with care. I tend towards giving discounts to my most loyal customers as a reward for continued business than trying to start out my relationship with a customer by setting a precedent of expectations that aren't sustainable.

Do You Really Want To Quit Your Day Job?

2011-10-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

In talking to people about what it is that I do, I end up getting asked for advice on all kinds of things. Sometimes I feel like I should bite my tongue in order to be more encouraging of people to follow their dreams, but I am not sure that is doing them any favours. Don't get me wrong. I am all about people leading the life they want to live, but that is kind of part of it. The whole doing what you love for a living is a dream for many and a goal for some. I try to share my experiences with people to help them learn a little more quickly the lessons I have learned the hard way, but there are some of those lessons that you just cannot be spared. Be forewarned, I am going to be honest here, and tell you that even though I love what I do, I don't always love it every day. When speaking to someone who is starting a business, transitioning their hobby to a full time business, or just evaluating what they might need to do to continue doing business, one needs to consider all of the pieces in the big picture to model their business structure so that it is sustainable. I see a huge disconnect in value of ones time as a small business person v. someone who works for someone else for a paycheck. I have spoken to a good lot of people in the last several years who feel pressured to turn their hobbies into business.

I have given the scary advice that maybe you shouldn't turn your hobby into a business. Supplemental income is great, but do you really have what it takes to make this into a full time endeavour? There are so many things we take for granted being gainfully employed by someone else. The magical things that just happen that we don't have to think about ever. Those things, you have to do them yourself! All of them. Many of the things usually employ people with advanced degrees. Advanced degrees we don't have. If you would have told me that I would be able to talk about Social Media and Marketing Platforms two years ago, I wouldn't have known what you were talking about. I would have thought you were talking about shoes. Now the lingo spills out of my mouth, and I can hear myself sounding like some sort of marketing alien from another planet.

You also don't have certain luxuries. Sure you can blow off work at any time to go to the river, but then you may just find yourself like me having 2.5 days off in the last two months. Maybe, you have no income to speak of for oh, three months, but then you have orders stacked to the ceiling in a two week period. Or if a family member dies or you have to go through a traumatic break up, you can't really mourn and freak out for the weeks or months it takes to really process such an event. Also you have to go buy office supplies. And do your own books. And @#&! TAXES! Some of these harrowing aspects can take a toll on your personal relationships as well; not to mention your creativity. And sick days? Those deadlines become so much more crucial when you don't get paid until you cross that finish line. It is also your reputation that is on the line, and how you perform now has a direct correlation to whether you get future projects. The stakes are higher.

It is deceptively easy to to start. You make a thing, and your friend likes it, and suggests you start an Etsy shop. Nothing wrong with that; I love Etsy, and I owe a lot to Etsy, but you get out of it what you put into it. And even then there are so many factors to seeing results. I have to ask if you love making the thing, will you love making the thing all day every day, and spending all night every night on the computer? That was another shocker for me. I had absolutely no idea (I started my business at a time where the internet wasn't a factor) how much time I would be spending on the computer. Editing photos, researching, interacting with customers, writing copy, finding venues to sell your work, constant tweaking. Learning to manage my time is still a huge struggle. I know, it just all seems like something anyone can do, but you know what? Not everyone has the wherewithall to start their own business, and keep going. Talk to any small business owner, and they will tell you; it is not for the faint of heart. You don't do it because you sort of like to make things, you do it because you have to make things. You have to. Now that is not to discount the passion of the hobbyist, but it does take a special breed of person to take on such a huge undertaking. Many will tell you that they had NO IDEA what they were getting themselves into when they started. Many will tell you they still have no idea..

Yes, I do love what I do, but not every day. Some days are amazingly productive. The designs work like magic. Other days are spent in mind numbing production where I am so sick of making flowers I could scream. (Sorry little flowers; you know I love you, it's just that I always have to make so many of you at once..) You have to be prepared for there to be days that you have to do things that aren't the best use of your time, and for a while you may not be able to outsource your tedious tasks to someone else. Unexpected things come up that require immediate attention that only you can give. We all can dream of magic production elves, but we are magic production elves often doing the work of several people.

What's my point in saying all of this? It is that you should know as much as possible about what you are getting yourself into; though even as prepared as you can try to be, there is always a learning curve. And there are always the bad parts that people leave out of polite conversation. I have bitten my tongue over the years, but recently, I feel like I am not doing anyone any favours by leaving out the hard parts. I am not saying these things to discourage the prospective small business person; not at all. You should just have an idea of what you are getting yourself into. That it is hard, and everything always takes longer that you want it to; sometimes it takes years. There are a very few that had easy smooth sailing into a successful business. It takes a lot of determination and an insane idea that you just aren't going to completely fail. That failures are learning experiences, and that after all is said and done, you have to make the things. And that for the most sucktacular week you have, there will be some random person who will tell you how much they love your work, and that makes it all worth it.

Putting Yourself in the Right Place At the Right Time

2011-10-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

photo: etsy labs

I am such an occasional writer these days, but I have had many ideas to share with little time to share them aside from twitter. These end in long form rants that are in fragments that get my point across, but may sound a bit insane. As you may or may not know I have been a part of a group called I Heart Art PDX that has been putting on low or no cost programming around building your small creative business, professionalism and valuing your time. Okay, maybe that isn't the official tag-line, but that has been what it has turned out to be. We are nearing the end of our second year, and making some decisions on sustainability for our program, and we just put on a conference about sustainability called Hello Etsy. I am not going to talk in depth about these things here, but you can read about them on their own sites. Right now my involvement with I Heart Art is inspiring me to write about a variety of more business related topics.

A bit of background: I seem to have a knack of knowing where to put myself at the right time. I can see in the room the person to stand next to, or what show to go to or what corner to turn or what place to be for my next opportunity. I am not particularly aggressive about it, I just look for where my next opportunity might lie and go there. I don't always know what the opportunity will be, just that I need to be open to a possibility, and go to the place. It isn't about being in the right place at the right time, it is about paying attention to where your next opportunity might lie, and go there. The next time you are drawn to someone, just go up to them and say hello, and see what happens. I happened to be at a talk with Matt Stichcomb from Etsy, and I just happened to run into some friends there, and I just happened to find myself in a meeting with Matt and about a dozen people at eight o'clock in the morning (and for those of you who know me, I am NOT a morning person). I went because I was drawn to an opportunity. I had no idea where it would lead me, but I knew that it was important.

These few people (some have moved on, some are still here on the leadership council) are the group that started I Heart Art Portland. A pilot program sponsored by Etsy, PNCA, The Museum of Contemporary Craft and the PDX Etsy Street Team. We have brought innovative education programs, and events to the arts community here in Portland, Oregon. The opportunity to be a part of the creation of this group and this program came at a time where I was seeing some success on the Etsy site, and gaining an online following. I had recently left my old art collective; which had left a bit of a hole. I found myself being asked by a few too many acquaintances to help them start their Etsy shops, organize sales events, or general things that I had experience with. I didn't feel that I was willing to give up my experience and expertise for free, but I wasn't comfortable with the idea of charging for it either. I Heart Art Portland came along at the exact right time. It gave me a group to work with who provided to a broader spectrum of people what individuals were asking of me. It gave me a place to refer people looking for advice on starting and running small creative business.

photo PNCA

The group of people behind the scenes at I Heart Art Portland are truly amazing. Our first event went off without much fuss. It was incredibly well attended. Etsy sent us people. We had beer and cake. We all got along, there were no real disasters, no technical glitches, no bickering or infighting; in short a extraordinary group. Most of the last two years has gone this way; even when we were thrown some major events with short deadlines. Even though I was a part of these accomplishments, I am still in awe of what we have managed to accomplish. In a way, I think that is part of allowing yourself to be open to the possibilities. I placed myself in the right place at the right time, because I saw an opportunity there. I have gained a ton of knowledge, and I have been allowed the opportunity to share that with my community in a way that makes more of a difference than if I sit at home behind a computer all day.

Last Sunday, on the heels of last week's Hello Etsy conference, I got to spend the entire day with the leadership counsel reviewing the year's accomplishments, tossing around ideas, and writing a plan to make our program sustainable. All of these discussions and Hello Etsy made me feel a grand shift in my thinking about my own business too. An overall theme of my life seems to be a realisation of something that I was missing that had been there all along. For instance: using timed tweets and writing an editorial calendar with all the links in one place to market the Hello Etsy conference. I knew about timed tweets for two years, but why had it never occurred to me to use them? And why didn't I research links and write a plan in advance for the marketing? Such a time saver! I wouldn't have to research the same thing over and over. It was right there all along, and I didn't do it. A small thing, but a major revelation. And I have been meaning to write business posts all along, but have never gotten around to doing it.

I came home from our day long council retreat exhausted, but inspired, and I wrote quite a bit. Enough for several blogs worth. Things I was afraid to say, but need to be said. This blog is about process, but this is part of my process too. There is so much more to running my business than making things. Part of my creative process is ideas. My ideas are just as much of a creation as something I make with my hands. Ideas are meant to be shared and discussed. Today's idea is putting yourself in the right place at the right time. It works for me; it may be something you might like to consider too.

No Photos of the Tulle Dress I've Been Working On!

2011-09-25T22:21:00.000-07:00

I love posting on Twitter my projects in progress. For the last two weeks. my Twitter feed has been filled with posts about a tulle wedding dress restoration and alteration project that has been dominating my house. And by dominating, I mean that there is tulle EVERYWHERE. Many have followed along, and have been asking, begging for photos. Unfortunately, there are no photos. I took on this project as a favour for a friend (I have exited the wedding dress world for the time being for the most part), and because occasionally, I like a crazy challenge. The thing is, this is someone else's wedding dress. Now, I am sure my bride friend would send me some wedding photos to post somewhere some day in the future after the wedding is over, but for now I just can't post photos.

I have had some real fun in posting in progress corset photos, and sharing my creative process by posting about works in progress. The response has been amazing, and I seem to have an audience who is actually interested in the mind of a crazy person, um, i mean creative person. It is great to be able to post photos of these works in progress, because they don't belong to anyone yet; only to me, and the only consequence is that you as the viewer/reader have an idea of the mysterious process of making things. Weddings are different. There is that whole thing where the groom cannot see the dress until the day of at the ceremony when the bride is revealed walking down the aisle. Then there is the ownership part. Every single wedding dress has been a collaboration project between myself and the bride. Yes, I design the dress, and make it to fit with perfect details, but the concept begins with the bride and her dreams of her big day. The process has run the gamut of everything wonderful and awful about concept to production to finished product. But this process as it pertains to weddings is somewhat mysterious and secretive. A ton of work done in secret for the big reveal. And it's more than that. It is also being advisor and confidant; which involves quite a bit of trust. And a tacit agreement to be the holder of the secret fabulous dress. That it will be perfect and gorgeous, to make her perfect and gorgeous for not only her groom, but also for her family and friends.

So therein lies the problem of photos. If you look at my blog and my website, there is a sore lack of wedding photos in comparison to the amount of weddings I have done. So many in fact that even though I may easily spend six months with someone, I would be loathe to tell you each dress and their person behind it. Many times I have been promised more photos, but have had few follow up with me, and I am just as bad. And as you may have witnessed with this particular project, is the sense of accomplishment, but also relief when the dress has left my hands and my studio. At which point I am onto the next thing, and not too interested in chasing after the past for a photo.

Tell Me Your Favourite Colour Garter Giveaway

2011-08-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

Garter #1630 is the number that I am on today as I write this post. Don't ask me how many flowers or dresses I've made; I couldn't tell you. For some reason I started writing down each garter I made, and being a bit obsessive compulsive, I couldn't stop. If you have followed my progress, you will know these garters; I made my first one in February 1999 for a Valentine's Day show, and they have never stopped selling.

I recently opened my ribbon box to create a custom set for one of my long-term shops in San Francisco, and noticed that a ribbon order is long overdue. As I cut the last bit of powder blue silk ribbon off of the spool, I knew it was time for an order. I dread these orders. The silk has to be imported, I have to choose carefully, or I will find myself stuck with a colour I never use (hello, too cold silver that has been languishing unusable in the box since 2002). But I am always looking for the next new colours so I don't get bored making the same things over and over.

This time I am going to try something a little different; I am going to ask other peoples' opinions. Shocking, I know! As we creep into fall (and thinking ahead to spring 2012), I thought it is time to add a few colours. I am not one to follow trend, but everyone has their colour preferences. I have to serve the lingerie community that varies from traditional brides to burlesque performers. For your opinions, you will get a chance to WIN a matching pair of garters! Here is my collection on Etsy. What are your thoughts on the following additions?

1. Sesame (paired here with silver and a dark red rose)

2. Olive (shown with both rich gold and peach)

3. Sage (shown with cream and peach and matching pink flowers)

$. Navy (on the bottom band with silver)

So there you have it. Leave me a comment, and let me know what you think of any or all these as possible additions to my garter collection, and your favourite existing colours. I will choose at random one lucky person who commented here to receive a matching pair of garters to be made from stock on hand, and shipped to you via first class us post within 4 weeks of comments closing 8/31/2011. UPDATE: Thank you for your comments! I will be notifying the winner 9/2/2011. Comments are closed now.

and on to the next thing

2011-06-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

If you have been following my Twitter feed lately or have visited me at Crafty Wonderland or talked to me in person recently, it is no secret that I am working on an exciting new project: CORSETS. And you may say to me, but Kirsten, you have already been making corsets for years. True, true, but these are different. These are steel boned traditional waist reducing corsets. Each has three layers of fabric, spring and spiral steel boning, and tons of handwork. My great-grandmother Bachan taught me how to sew when I was three. She hand basted everything with a needle and thread, and I thought that was totally crazy and unnecessary. But these are all hand basted; they have to be for the pieces to match up perfectly.

The lovely absinthe green and black lace corset pictured above is my first of hopefully many. I am learning about how they fit, and techniques that will save me from tearing up my fingers like I did on this first one. I used an altered commercial pattern on this first one, and I have already designed a new on from scratch (in muslin form below). I hand sewed the lace on and hand flossed the boning in the traditional manner. I am not sure that I am interested in historically accurate in looks, but I do use all the traditional techniques (as I always have with everything else I make). I have been thoroughly obsessed, and researched this topic way too much in the last six months. There is something really satisfying about hand finishing a garment.

Why this, why now? When I started my business 13 years ago, I was making really crazy labour intensive pieces couture style. All cut to fit and hand finished with excruciating detail. I need to be challenged. I need to make my own designs that dance around my brain whether I have time to attempt them or not. This what makes me happiest. In the last several years, I have been relegated to accessories and taking on whatever project that offered me enough money to survive. I had so many ideas that never got to be made, or are sitting half finished in boxes or languishing in sketch books or invading my dreams. The dreams haunted me with the designs I longed to make instead of wiling away the hours avoiding the things that I had to make on deadlines that had me pushed up until the last minute..

So here I am. There will be a trunk show in the fall, date(s) and place(s) TBA. In the mean time, I am looking to try this lovely muslin on as many bodies as possible. If you are in Portland and have a waist 27-32 i would love to try this lovely muslin on you. I will be grading the pattern to fit other sizes, but I have to start somewhere, so if you are outside this range, I may need to try a later muslin when I get to that point. I am slow. Slow because all the things that I feel are worth doing take time. Slow because I still have to fill orders and take the occasional odd project to keep going. Interested? Send me a message.

Why I Am No Longer On Facebook

2011-06-06T00:36:00.000-07:00

Some people are early adopters, I am an early abandoner. This is the blog of my business, but what follows is a personal post. It contains information that may contradict the gal you know online. That is okay. She will continue on as ever after this post. I am writing this because I have been asked too many times: Why do you hate Facebook and why did you leave? Here is the true sordid tale:

It gave me pause to leave Facebook given that I had cultivated an audience there, but that audience was also the reason I felt that maintaining a presence there ate at my soul. I should be jaded and have a thicker skin; I have been using social media of various forms since 2003. Online, I abide by certain rules: namely, that I don't post anything that's too personal: no relationship references (my online persona is that of a single lady who dresses in fancy lingerie & drinks tea with her cat), no politics or religion (thought it creeps in here and there, I am human after all), nothing derogatory, and absolutely no photos of my ass on the internet. Since there isn't really any separation between myself and my business in the world of online, the idea of what might appear with a google search rules what I write & post to my various profiles. There is no expectation of privacy when it comes to the internet. All it takes is to forward an email or a screenshot or a google search. Everything posted online is online FOREVER. It isn't that what I post isn't true, nor lacking personal aspects, but it is the PG-13, positive, interesting version of my life with certain details omitted. I am, after all, an actual person running a small business. This is my livelihood and so much of my "branding" (I have been doing this since before the internet, and the word "branding" existed) is wrapped up in my creative process, my aesthetic, my inspirations etc. This seems narcissistic to me, but it works; after all, I have been in business for over 13 years.

What felt different about Facebook (as opposed to other social networking sites) was a long progression that started in my second bout with social media (we can think of friendster of a first boyfriend, a sort of teenage relationship but one before adulthood here) which was tribe.net. I joined in 2003. It was pretty neat to keep up with friends of certain groups, meet interesting people (I have several in real life friends I have met first online), exchange ideas, and dip ones toes into a little voyeurism. It got me to start writing again; which has been incredibly an incredibly helpful business skill. Being the entrepreneur, and putting my business first, I joined each of the next thing with a bit of trepidation (all the time and effort of maintaining yet another online presence), but I felt it would be okay if I followed my own rules right? The more of my own content I post online, the more exposure to new audiences. But there are little bits of my soul in each of these places. I have managed for the most part to avoid embarrassing photos, have posted the occasional subversive or snarky comment, but that's just me. Mostly, I posted about my experience as an independent designer/business person and the ins and outs as a maker of fashiony things. I have learned a lot along the way, much from reading copious amounts of information and interacting with others on various sites; enough to give advice on social media to others in a professional setting (scary, I know).

The difference here with facebook over any other site (and I belong to so many) is just how ubiquitous it is. Most other sites only encompass certain groups of people. Etsy for crafty, indie DIY business (which includes the vintage sellers), people creating their own things on a small scale, Twitter for industry & tech people, Myspace for teenagers and musicians, Tribe.net for burners and tech people etc. Everyone was on Facebook. When I finally gave in and joined, I had 85 friends within the first 4 hours that I joined the site. I was up to 400 within the month, and when I left 4 years later, i had 750+ friends even after paring down multiple times. It's like everybody I ever knew was on Facebook, and that is pretty much true. With the exception of about 20 people, I knew everyone on my friends list in person at some point in my life ranging from preschool to the present. So overwhelming, is that anyone whom you have ever met can find you. Even if you use all of the privacy settings. I had my profile locked down and allegedly unsearchable on google, but the whole friends of friends thing would allow people to find me. I would get really tired of someone, and unfriend them, and a new friend request from said unfriended person would show up minutes later. (I found out later by accident that if you unfriend someone without blocking them, you will show up in the "suggested friends" section on their homepage, gross!) My inbox would be stuffed full of spam with people begging for money to fund their various projects & causes, invitations to parties across the world, to just screamy blather that made me hate my "friends". Oh, the things people would post. Things I cannot imagine talking about to my best friend would go by my horrified eyes on a daily basis.

I tried to hard to make it work. I hid people whose posts I couldn't stand, but couldn't unfriend because it would cause problems for me (hurt feelings, backlash, rifts in business relationships; where unfriending would actually cause serious consequences. Which is really stupid. Being Facebook friends isn't important!). I blocked the stalkery people. I unfriended my significant other/best friend, because it felt harmful to our relationship to be interacting online in lieu of in person (picture us sitting at my kitchen table looking at our matching smartphones instead of talking). I tried for positive interactions. I tried to post interesting content to give value to my readers (I found that i had a lot of them). But more and more, just logging on and looking at my newsfeed made me upset. I could feel my blood pressure rising when I would see the inane messages in my inbox, the endless invitations, the endless pleas for money and attention. Facebook didn't make me feel connected; it made me feel alienated. I started hating my friends. I don't hate my friends. This was unacceptable.

The end came with a couple of events. My birthday (in November) consisted of a bunch of messages from my friends in lieu of anyone bothering to call me (save for a few), which made me feel creeped out and alienated. The second was a family issue that i felt compelled and pressured to post about on my page (definitely against my rules). There was really no use to do this other than to feel like I was doing something in a situation where nothing could be done. Then I started to feel like people were watching for a train wreck. In mid-December, when my computer's power source exploded, I never bothered to log in again. I got a whole lot of crap from people for leaving. I started to feel like "dance monkey, dance!" Oddly I finally was out of the loop, but best of all, I felt free! There were months of explaining myself every time I would run into anyone. But you know what? For the last few years, when I would see any of my Facebook "friends" in person, people would act like they knew me because of what they read on my Facebook page. Even more creepy, is that I never ever saw them post anything ever. Which means that there are many more reading silently than those actually posting. It was extra creepy, because 2010 was an especially difficult year, and I did my best not to show it. I know that it is my doing, but this was also incredibly alienating as well, to have people talking to my about how great my life must be going. When is it appropriate to replace taking the time to having a cup of tea with someone by reading the random sentences that they post online?

Social media is what you make of it. What works well for some doesn't work for others. There are many who love Facebook. It works for them in ways that it doesn't work for me. Was it helpful to my business, maybe. I had thousands of hits to my website and my Etsy shop from Facebook every month, but most of my 'fans' either knew me or my work already, and can find me many other places (my website, etsy, blog, twitter, flickr etc.). I am a much happier person. I suppose I miss some invitations to parties, and the mundane goings on of everyone on my friends list, but I have managed to live this way for 30+ years before Facebook's existence in my life. Six months out now, I can still say that I truly hate it, and I should log on one of these days to delete my account. But I cannot bring myself to even log on. Why bother? There is no real deleting of it anyway, it will exist somewhere in the internet ethers. So I will just leave it there abandoned as a partial record of a few years of my life along with all of my other abandoned accounts. The irony here is that as I post this on my blog is that it will end up on my Facebook account. *sigh* The thing is, there will be another thing. There always is. Chances are, I will join, spend countless hours cultivating my presence, and abandon it in time too. And most likely, so will you.

UPDATE: I finally deleted my personal account, or deactivated. In doing so, the site's bots tried to emotionally blackmail me by showing me photos of people I want nothing to do with. Regardless it is not visible anymore. My fan page is still there; i pawned it off on my sales rep and mother, so I can share in the ignoring. I can't say that I feel free, because people still ask me about it.

six and a half costume notes

2011-03-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

Once again I was asked by Miss Lisa Degrace (if you remember the giant skirt in Flying Iron) to design costumes for her new production called Six and a Half. Her character "Lily" goes out into the world where she encounters people who could be real or apparitions.

I put Lily in a red dress; in part as a reflection of her personality, and to separate her from the world she enters. Red reminds us that we are alive, and that she is alive in the land of dreams that she is traveling in. Her red contrasts her from the people she encounters who alternate in between being people, ghosts and robots. I put these characters in a palette of whites with stark outlines to give them a timeless and other-worldly feel. Their costumes are accented with red to connect in small ways with Lily and the world of the living.

The show opens this weekend in a double header with We Two Boys. If you are in Portland, I hope you can see it! I posted the information below:

an evening of new work by Lisa DeGrace and Meshi Chavez

6 1/2 and We Two Boys
March 17 at 8pm
March 18 at 8pm
March 19 at 8pm
March 20 at 4pm and 8pm

Sliding Scale tickets $15 - $25
503-893-5999 to pay with cash or check at the door OR
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/158283 for credit card or debit card.

THE DETAILS:

6 1/2
How does my past influence my future? What am I holding on to? What is holding me? Am I awake or am I asleep? Is this a dream or a nightmare? Lily, a brave and terrified fool, ventures into the unknown.

Created and Performed by Lisa DeGrace with Alicia Ankenman, Mark Kline, and Capra J'neva
Direction/Choreography by Tracy Broyles and Lisa DeGrace

We Two Boys
"We two boys together clinging, one the other never leaving..." A translation of Walt Whitman's poem We Two Boys Together Clinging from language to movement. an investigation into the modern condition of masculinity and the tension that exists when men express their need for one another.

Choreographed by Meshi Chavez
Performed by Richard Decker and Meshi Chavez
Music by lyd

Satsuma Mandarin Ice Cream

2010-12-16T09:39:00.001-08:00

I know that this isn't a cooking blog. Last year I received an ice cream maker for my birthday, and I have been experimenting with recipes and posting about them on Twitter. I have had many requests for recipes, so I may be posting more of the best of them here.

This recipe has a quite subtle lovely flavour of fresh Satsuma mandarin with a little warmth from the Grand Marnier for a light holiday dessert treat.

1 pint (16 oz) heavy cream
1 pint (16 oz) whole milk
1 cup sugar
4 egg yolks
3 Satsuma mandarins (juiced)
2 T Grand Marnier

In a saucepan gently heat the milk and cream. Whisk in sugar, satsuma mandarin juice and egg yolks. Whisk constantly until the mixture just starts to simmer (do not let the mixture boil!). Chill for at least 4 hours. Freeze in ice cream maker according to instructions. When the mixture is almost frozen add in the Grand Marnier until blended. Yields about 2.5 pints.

Happy Holidays!

vintage slip

2010-09-13T12:03:00.001-07:00

after weeks/years of "too busy" and fretting over my aged wardrobe, i decided to spend the weekend making some things for myself. here is one of my finished projects:

i have been enamoured of vintage slips forever. you know the ones: black taffeta, cut on the bias, great for layering or wearing on their own. i have loved many to death. the inevitable rips that are repaired and modified and repaired until the whole things is tattered and in shreds. they languish unwearable in my closet, because i cannot bear to throw them away. whenever i go to vintage or thrift stores, i am constantly on the lookout for a new one, but lately, they seem harder and harder to come by, so i decided to make one.

it is freeing to just make something without having to worry about making a zillion carbon copies graded out to fit the whole spectrum of possible women wearers. it only needs to fit me. i don't have to draft out a pattern; i can just kind of free-hand cut the whole thing. i used a basic bias dress pattern for the skirt, and made a composite of my favourite bodices of slips passed..

i love the details that were so common in vintage clothes: top stitching, french seams, pinked edges, lace, bows. it is second nature for me to incorporate these little details into every garment i make. here the lace around the edges, and top stitching the seams make the garment look more finished.

i wanted a bottom detail, but not a traditional gathered ruffle (too bulky), so i decided to add this hand pleated ruffle to the bottom. it only added about 45 minutes to the project, but was well worth it, don't you think? i sewed lace over the seam to tie it in to the bodice detail.

and the finishing touch: a velvet bow. i love bows, and would add them to everything. it just makes a nice finishing touch. now i have a nice new slip that should last me for years, and it only took an afternoon.

LAST DAY

2010-08-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

SATURDAY 7 AUGUST IS MY LAST DAY AT 323 NW 6th we will be open from 12-6

yes, in all caps. come by, take away some sample pieces at amazing prices. and if you come to view this post afterwards, here's what is happening (until you hear otherwise). i am NOT going out of business. what i am doing is taking a bit of time to regroup, and focus.

first up: my wholesale and online etsy store will continue as usual. there will be a couple of days where i won't ship (monday and tuesday 9-10 august), but after that i will certainly be filling orders on time as always. and as always i will answer my phone and my email.

second: i will not be taking custom work for a little while (close friends excepted), because i will be working out of my tiny turret room where i can barely fit myself and my cat, much less a full service atelier. so for the time being, i won't be doing any ground-up gowns or large projects. however, i will still be filling custom colours of existing styles and making things that do not involve fittings or alterations. so flowers, feathery things and garters, yes.

third: i have so many designs that are half-finished that i have been trying to add to my line FOREVER. i am hoping to complete some of those so that they may be available for wholesale and retail before next spring. yes, i am slow, but i am a perfectionist. i want you to look good.

don't be a stranger. i am still living in town. you will still see me meandering around town in my fancy dresses trying not to catch my skirt in the back wheel of my bicycle. i will keep you posted about it on my twitter account. i will be doing some selected trunk shows and holiday fairs in the coming months. when i know where i will be going next, i promise to keep you posted...

i am slow.

2010-05-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

or at least i feel like i am slow. in actuality, i am pulled in too many directions, so something is always left to the wayside. in this case it is my blog. i have had many people comment that i haven't posted in a long time, and that would be right. my convoluted sense of how things have to be done has led to a strange list of conditions i put on myself when it comes to posting here.

the first one of them is photos. i am an awful photographer. you might disagree with this until i tell you that i don't take many of my own photos. and who wants to see a blog without photos? that is why i love twitter so much. it is all writing.

the next one is that i moved. it is true that i moved into my new studio at the coeur in september. i know that it seems like long enough, but know i have just finally finished unpacking last week. i thought i would hit the ground running when i got there, and i did. but transitions don't ever happen as fast as we and them to. people are still figuring out that i am there. heck, i am still figuring out that i am there. it still takes a moment to remember that i am not at the top of the stairs at the egg anymore. this has taken a good amount of time on the back end. much marketing, planning, moving furniture around to find the perfect configuration of studio and showroom. and actual open hours. yes, that's right. something i vowed never again to when i moved out of my retail space in 2003. but you know what? my business has evolved, and is evolving, and i have to go with it.

so many ideas. i have been developing new ideas. in between maintaining a busy online, wholesale and custom work business, i am designing new products. this year i have been working on (among other things): cocktail hats, veils and garter belts. it can be a long distance to travel from idea in the middle of the night or on a walk to my studio and its appearance on the ready to wear rack. many trials on different bodies for the most universal fit. much fretting over the perfect colour combinations. waiting for the answers to intricate design questions to surface from my subconscious. and lots and lots of research.

and lastly small projects. while it is hard to wrap my brain around the giant pile of small projects, i would rather take on the task of expertly fitting and mending peoples' wardrobes and making custom everyday clothes than booking out another wedding season. there, i said it. it is a little harder this way, but it is for the best. i would rather trade a little financial instability for my sanity. i am still making garters and flowers, and i am still willing to talk about your wedding dress (sometimes it is a really amazing fun project), but after so many wedding seasons, i am finding it more and more difficult to do.

oh, and i have been working behind the scenes on a couple of volunteer projects; ironically it will be involving me writing some blog posts.

that is what i have been up to. chances are, if you are reading this months later from the date of this post, wondering why i haven't posted, the reasons will be the same. maybe i will excavate and finish some of the posts that i have started over the last few months. who knows?

december craft show madness or how much is too much?

2009-12-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

this is the state of my floor as i prepare for shows 2 and 3 of this weekend. since friday: 50 feather hairpins (3rd photo, some sold) 10 feather pieces (added to the pile in the 2nd photo), several plain flowers (lost count of how many), goodies and coupons for sunday's handmade nw formal show, organizing the vendors for the p:ear show next weekend, and probably more, but i can't remember. my mantra for getting everything done, and it's working: one thing at a time from start to finish.

here is the short list of shows:

12.5 Sunnyside Environmental School Holiday Bazaar 11a-4p 3421 SE Salmon Street to raise funds for biology trips. There will be a raffle with fabulous prizes!

12.6 Handmade NW Formal Artisans Sale 10a-6p at the Chelsea Ballroom 1510 SE 9th (and Hawthorne) We will be dressed in out finery to present you with lovely handmade goods for the holiday season! swag bags to the first 100 to arrive!

12-13 P:ear craft show for the 12 days of P:ear fundraiser Sat 12.12 6p-9p Sun 12.13 10a-4p 338 NW 6th Avenue (and Flanders) two days of fun-filled crafty goodness with art, music food and libations.

12.19 Saint David's Last chance Holiday Bazaar 10a-3p in the Parish Hall 2800 SE Harrison featuring a raffle with fabulous prizes!

12.20 Last Chance Open Studio Sale at my studio! Kirsten and Brent will be open for your last minute holiday needs. Maybe we will have a special guest or two, maybe we will just be drinking by ourselves. Always entertaining; bring a friend! 323 NW 6th 2p-7p

(and my etsy shop, don't forget about that!)

together, you can buy out all of my stock, so i can do this every week! i have lots of ribbon to make more.

buy handmade for the holidays

2009-11-24T10:49:00.000-08:00

here's where i can get preachy, and you probably realize my bias, but i have to say it: BUY HANDMADE FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

we can all try and debate whether art has value in society, so let's just assume that it does. myself, and most of the people i know make their livings by our hearts and hands. we are kind of old fashioned that way. if you have been following my career, you know that i try to make as much as i can on my own, and what i can't make, i try to get from another local artisan or small business. times have been difficult for many of us, and small gestures do make a big difference. big boxes have the finances behind them to weather out months of bad economy, whereas us little guys can have our lives turn south after only a couple of bad months. we are a large part of your local economy. i am not endorsing rampant consumerism, but a careful consideration of what you spend your money on and the impact of that purchase after money exchanges hands. so a few things i am asking you to consider when making a purchase:

where did it come from? who made it? how long will you use it? does it enhance your life or surroundings? can it be repaired if it breaks? recycled? can it be passed along to someone else when you are done with it?

and most of all: do you love it?

i live in a small space, so every object that i bring in to my house has to pass the "do you love it test". i have based my life and career around beautifying people and their surroundings. a necessity? some might not think so, but living in beautiful surroundings enhances my well being. so during the holiday season (and all year round too) go to one of the zillion craft fairs in your neighborhood (many of them are supporting local charities as well), your local farmer's market, small businesses, and etsy.

take the pledge:

fixing the holes

2009-10-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

once in a while i will get a crazy idea born out of some twisted idea of necessity. part of this is a fixation with repairing much loved things. a good long time ago, i received a vintage faux fur coat as a gift. it became my primary winter coat. and one day there was a hole in the lining. i patched that hole with a crazy quilt fan block i pieced together from some random scraps. the outside of the coat was fine, but the lining was disintegrating. over the next couple of years as the lining continued to fall apart, i continued to patch up the holes. finally, the coat itself started to fall apart. it had its last hurrah during last summer's trip to the desert.

i acquired a new vintage coat last year. it is a lovely 1970's leather coat with powder grey shearling trim that my friend chris helped me buy from a guy in a bar who looks exactly like prince. it is a truly lovely coat, and the lining was intact. was. i pulled my coat out of the closet and discovered a HOLE in the lining. being that the saddest part of letting my old coat go was all of the time i spent adding crazy quilt patchwork to the lining. so i chopped it out.

an i spent a good part of today sewing and embroidering the old patches over the holes.

so begins my slippery slope. maybe someday someone will manufacture a lining that won't disintegrate, but that would be too easy.

some photos of the first incarnation

2009-09-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

here are some photos of my new studio. i am still unpacking boxes, and trying to get into the swing of things. today i painted a screen that i have been meaning to finish for the better part of a decade (i know) and my a-board sign. i had help from my painter friend brent wear who is in charge of the art on the walls.

i am still on the fence about having regular hours, but i am available by appointment if you want to come visit. i will be posting my *by chance* hours on my twitter page.

change your studio change your life

2009-08-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

so if you hadn't heard, i am moving my studio out of the egg. moving is always a bit scary, but i was bursting at the seams in my tiny space. as much as the egg has done for me, i am ready for something new. so i am moving. i will be back downtown tucked away in the back of the virtuoso gallery. it is a larger space that will be a work space and a permanent showroom. for those of you who live in portland, oregon (or just visiting), come see me in my new space! it is located at 323 nw sixth avenue between everett and flanders. i will be open first thursdays and by appointment. i am bad about taking photos, but i will take some soon once i get settled and post them. of course there will be an opening party sometime soon, maybe in october.

dress, dress, dress a rambling state of my wedding season

2009-07-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

dress, dress, dress; it is all i can think about. mentally working out the design that my brain is not so graciously giving up in tiny pieces as the deadline approaches. she has worked her way into all of my thoughts, my dreams, my whole being until she is finished sometime in the next couple of days. i have given up trying to think about anything else; it is an exercise in futility. such is how things are when i am nearing a deadline. my mind is hard-wired to solve design problems. i have a particular outcome that i am fixated on, a particular vision that requires all the tricks up my sleeve, and my entire mental capacity as the deadline approaches.

the last weeks i have spent sketching, calculating, cutting, pinning, stitching, picking apart, fitting, measuring recalculating, clipping, pressing, gathering, stitching. obsessing over curves, avoiding unsightly lines, accentuating in some places, drawing the eye away from others..

bits of silk and threads cling to my skirt, which i notice later long after i have left my studio. i am still thinking, working it out long after i left work for the day. i never leave work behind. it is always there, addling my brain.

last night i met friends for drinks after work (9p). eyes glazed over, and incoherent, i try and try to hold a conversation about other things. in my mind the dress is working her details out. i am sure my friends probably think i am insane. my sentences are halting and distracted. i am sure i make little sense. although i have had only half a drink, i can blame it on the alcohol. but i cannot stop thinking about it. i am obsessed. i ride my bike home, and go to bed. as i drift in and out of consciousness before finally falling asleep, little bits of details float by weaving themselves into my dreams.

no matter far in advance i get started, no matter how i try to manage time between myself and my clients, i am always working up to the last minute. circumstances always seem to work out that way, not matter how hard i try to do otherwise. i have never missed a deadline, and things always work themselves out, but i can't stop worrying about it. even though i know everything will work out, i can't stop fretting over it. this dress is all i can think about today, and when i hand her off this weekend, there is another one waiting in the wings to take her place.

I WANT TO STOP WANTING part two

2009-04-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

i just spent several hours last night with tracy draping her dress on her body. this is my preferred method of working in some cases. the elements of the design get to be tried out on the body, and we are guaranteed a perfect fit. i started out with some of the pieces cut out, some put together: the sleeves, the skirt. we spent the better part of the evening pulling and pinning, her trying out some movements very carefully (so she isn't stabbed with pins) and chatting while i stitched the pieces together after we had them worked out. all that is left to do is make a couple of alterations, and finish a few edges. everything else is almost done.

after a while, meshi showed up with some beer and snacks, and we worked out all of the last minute details before tomorrow's tech rehearsal. it is always a relief to get to a point where we know things are coming together, and the finish line is in sight. here's hoping that there are no wardrobe malfunctions tonight; although tonight is the best time for anything that might go wrong to show itself so that it may be corrected before opening night which is thursday:

I WANT TO STOP WANTING
a new dance work by Theory 1:Dance
Disjecta, 8371 N. Interstate
April 30th to May 2nd at 8:00 pm, and
May 3rd at 2:00 and 8:00 pm.
$14 at the door, $12 in advance.
www.disjecta.org to purchase tickets

theory1dance.com

Desire….it’s a word packed with emotions, good and bad. Desire shapes our interactions with those we love, it endlessly drags us into the past
and unknowingly shapes our future. It propels us into action, and grinds us to a halt. “I want to stop Wanting” is an exploration of desire: how we hold it, how it burdens us, and how we let it go. Created by Tracy Broyles and Meshi Chavez with musician lyd and dancers Lucy Yim and Mark Kline, the piece makes physical reality out of the ideas of desire, burden and grace. Raw, visceral and psychologically charged movement is matched by a hauntingly beautiful electronic score that will be mixed live. Costumes will be made by Kirsten A. Moore of Piper Ewan, set design by Bill Tripp and lightinng by Dug Martell.

Hope to see you there!

my hierarchy of procrastination

2009-04-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

on monday the sun was shining, so i wandered the opposite direction to the mountain to sit under a tree.

on tuesday i knitted, because i didn't feel like making hairpins.

on wednesday morning, i made hairpins to put off going to my studio to inventory garters and hem pants.

on wednesday afternoon, i made garters to avoid hemming pants. then i hemmed pants to avoid making dance costumes.

on thursday morning, i typed on the computer to avoid making flowers. then, i made flowers to avoid going to my studio and drafting patterns.

on thursday afternoon, i made garters to avoid drafting patterns.

today i MUST draft patterns; that was supposed to be done right now.

i write lists and lists in an attempt get everything done. in the past, i would procrastinate by having another cup of tea, running off to happy hour or just staring out the window. now i am procrastinating by doing things that are lower on my list.

recession hairpins

2009-04-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

i have been spending quite a bit of time wrestling with myself lately over this idea of the economy, and my lack of place in it. this is nothing new. i have been flying under the radar forever; doing my own thing, not paying much attention, until lately when no one will allow me to leave it alone. it is no secret that my life is a world of feast or famine; i put on the best face that i can at all times. i am always working no matter what, so the so-called ravaged economy shouldn't make too much of a difference, but everyone is talking about it, asking about it buying into it. there was never any question in my mind that the idea of exponential growth and living on credit was totally unsustainable. so is the whole globalization model; i am all for doing as much local trade as possible, but there is a need and a use for international trade. where else would we get our coffee, tea (or the silk and ribbon) that we can't grow in our backyards. it is really a question of balance.

in my own little world, it is all anyone ever asks me anymore: "how is your business doing in this economy?" what does one say to this?

ACCESSORIES: accessories sales have been steadily rising since the economy has been going down.

WEDDINGS: weddings are always steady. i am lucky to have a line of timeless flowers and garters which have always been popular. no matter how many times i think that i will give weddings, i always have a few custom weddings each season. this year, i get to make dresses for friends.

SUPPLIES: the cost of supplies have been going up, with some materials being pared down or discontinued. one of my main suppliers discontinued three-quarters of their colours. this almost sent me into a panic. but then i had to remember that nothing i do is static; there will be new designs and product lines to replace the old ones.

HAGGLING: this has been an unfortunate aspect of my business since the get go, but it has been much more prevalent lately. i suppose i can just chalk this up to ignorance. this runs the gamut from being compared to big box stores or similar products that aren't similar. for instance, my flowers are fabricated completely by hand v. gluing a craft store flower to a pinback. i hand set my swarovski crystals, hand strip my feathers, and hand sew the beads. i have politely explained this way more than usual. there is much more to consider about the cost of an item beyond its price tag. how well is this made? how long will it last? can i fix it?

RISING PRICES: i have done everything in my power not to raise my prices as my costs have gone up. i am holding out as long as possible.

INSPIRATION: i have been more inspired lately to make more elaborate things. another thing i have been finding unsustainable is speed and immediacy. there once was a time when i would go home and check my answering machine for messages. now society and circumstance has me trained to have a panic attack if my phone is more than 3 feet away from my body or i go for more than a couple of hours without checking my email. my work is slow work. it is work of carefully designing garments, and making embellishments from scratch and hand-sewing them on. i like hand quilting and cooking elaborate food and knitting and walking to work and talking to people in person. these are not fast things. we have been taught to be impatient. waiting is a dirty word. in my journeyman phase of learning my craft, i have learned the importance of not skipping steps. it is those little details that make something fit properly, move properly, last a long time, and it is those little details that make things beautiful. but it is also those things that make the upfront cost expensive. but in the end what is more expensive? one thing that lasts a really long time or a lot of cheap things that you throw away after 6 months, because you didn't really like them that well, they fell apart and you couldn't repair them, because they never really fit properly?

so in this swirl of recession talk, i get asked if i have a recession product. and the answer is yes and no. yes, because i had thought that it was important for me to have some little bits available if you wanted to take something away, but couldn't afford that custom gown today. no, because i have always had some version of this for that very reason. we may have to lead somewhat austere existences due to financial circumstance, but that does not preclude us from little luxuries while we save our pennies for a rainy day. i have made hairpins here and there. it was just time to bring them back. i always make them every year. if you see me around town, it is rare that i am not wearing one. usually i end up making several sets for wedding parties, but i don't always have them available for sale. since there has been a demand or them, i am presenting them again. this one is a little rosette, about 1" in diameter. i could have made them cheaper if i didn't use the swarovski crystals in their centres, but they are so much prettier this way. wear one or several. a little spot of colour to make every day a special occasion.

I WANT TO STOP WANTING part one

2009-03-03T10:34:00.000-08:00

photo of tracy broyles and meshi chavez in COCOON BIRD by jon springer

in the spring of 2007 i met with tracy broyles of theory1:dance to discuss the possibility of costumes for her production of COCOON BIRD. she arrived with a couple of pages torn from a magazine, a bag full of paper leaves with little phrases written on them, and a list of words. we used this as the basis of the costumes for this performance.

and this spring i have the privelege to work with tracy and meshi again in their upcoming performance of I WANT TO STOP WANTING that will be held at disjecta in portland at the end of april. i watched my first rehearsal two weeks ago, and took notes on the dancers' movements to see the technical needs and limitations i might encounter when costuming the dancers. other considerations are: visibility, the distance between the dancers and the audience, the lighting, the colours of the walls and floors as compared to what the dancers are wearing, how they all interact together, and which movements need to be highlighted or hidden. i love seeing the progression of other peoples' work. and i also like the opportunity to do something completely different than my very focused piper ewan line.

now is the big challenge. i need to work with the directors to come up with a look that best conveys the feel of the piece. unlike FLYING IRON these costumes cannot limit the dancers' movements in any way. discussions with tracy and meshi over tea consist of us trying tossing about words and concepts that will translate into costumes.

tracy and meshi are holding a fundraiser for this performance on friday the 13th; it should be fun:

THEORY 1: DANCE BENEFIT
5 PERFORMANCES
3 CONSCIOUSNESSES
90 MINUTE DANCE PARTY

March 13th, 2009 – 7:30 pm ‘till 10:00 pm
Performances start at 7:45 Dance Party starts at 8:30

Conduit Dance, Inc.
918 SW Yamhill Ave. Suite 401
Portland OR, 97205

Performances by Oslund+Co., Lanie Bergin,
Jen Warnock & M:CM dancers, Woolly Mammoth Comes to Dinner
and THEORY 1: DANCE

DJ Winky Wheeler + Snacks and Beverages

Donations $10- $100

A benefit for THEORY 1: DANCE’S new work:
“I want to stop wanting” Premiering at the end of April at DISJECTA.
Artistic Directors: Tracy Broyles & Meshi Chavez
Composer/ Musician: lyd
Dancers: Lucy Yim, Meshi Chavez, Mark Kline, Tracy Broyles

This project is partially funded by RACC

the process of a custom wedding from start to finish

2008-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

at the dawn of my eleventh wedding season i have been puzzling over the internal conflict i have been having about doing weddings. my dilemma i had best spelled out to my painter friend after someone asked me how i made my wedding work sustainable. in fact weddings feel like the least sustainable thing i do. i asked him, "what if you were commissioned to make a large several thousand dollar painting that took you six months or more to complete, and the couple put it behind them at their wedding ceremony, hung it over their table at their reception, took all of their wedding party photos in front of it, and then crated it and stored it in the attic. not hung this work in their home, but crated it and stored it in the attic?"

the bride usually comes to me at the beginning. she has an engagement ring on her finger, a date, and maybe a venue booked out. this might be a year before the wedding date itself. she will have in hand a stack of magazines, and her best friend or mother in tow. they will look in wonder at my messy studio. i will have some fabric sample books and paper to take notes. i will ask the date, the time of day the wedding will occur, and what she is looking for. i will ask me how she found me (to determine whether she was familiar with my work). i will ask as many questions as i can to determine what sort of dress she will wear, and whether i am the one to make it for her. i will do my best to focus on her if her friend tries to do all of the talking. i will make sketches, and make suggestions of types of fabrics to use for that particular style. i will ask her what parts of her body she likes and wants to accentuate, and what she doesn't like, and wants the eye drawn away from. i will ask her what she wants to wear under her dress. i remind her that i can do any sort of line she wants that will look flattering to her figure, because i am cutting the dress from scratch. i will pull out my calculator and come up with an estimated cost with different options for different fabrics, and amounts of embellishment. this takes about two hours, more or less. i tell her to mull it over, and give me a call. sometimes i will never hear from her again.

in a day or a week, there will be a phone call or an email. another appointment is made. this time she usually comes alone. there are final decisions made about design, fabric and embellishments. we agree on a price and a payment plan. a contract is signed, and money changes hands. fabric is ordered, or a shopping trip is planned. i take her measurements. we come up with a loose timeline for when particular things will be done; muslin, first fitting, embellishment, hemming and closing, accessories, hand off. maybe i am given a list of bridesmaids who will be contacting me. i hand her swatches and encourage her to start looking for her shoes. we part, i will call her when the fabric arrives or when i am ready to fit her muslin.

i will write myself several reminders in my calendar to begin the muslin. a muslin is a plain cotton mock up of the dress that can be modified until it fits that the dress is then cut from. this involves me drafting a pattern from scratch, or lately modifying something that i already had designed to fit. i will sit in the kitchen at my studio and eat lunch with a piece of paper, a pencil, her measurements and a calculator. i will check and double check. i will draw and cut out the muslin after lunch. i will put the muslin together, and wonder why i thought it would take so long; it usually goes pretty quickly, but i have to fret over it for a few days first.

another appointment is made to fit the muslin. i remind her to bring her underpinnings to the fitting. this is important for the neckline to make sure that her bra or corset doesn't show. if the muslin fits, we discuss the neckline. if it doesn't i mark with a pen and pin the parts that need to be modified. if it is minor, she will sit and wait while i make the alterations, if it is complicated, we reschedule for a few days later.

once the muslin is fit to satisfaction, i will carefully pick the good half of it apart to cut out the dress itself. hopefully, i have all the fabric, lining, thread, zipper and everything i will need by now. i will cut out the dress, and put it together. if i am running behind, i will schedule the fitting before i do this to make sure i finish it to make sure i meet our timeline. if i am on schedule, i will call after i finish this part.

this first fitting usually takes about an hour. i ask how things are going. usually, the caterer has been chosen, the invitations have been sent out, the flowers have been decided on, but she is still looking for shoes and wedding party gifts. we discuss the embellishments. we can both have a better idea now that the dress is on and in front of us. the lines are clear. where the hem falls with the shoes on. if it is floor length, the hem is exactly 1/4" off the floor in shoes so there is no tripping over the hem, and no need to lift up the skirt to walk. the bustle is marked to see how the embellishments will look with the train down and bustled. or if the hem is shorter, pinned so that it will hit in the most flattering spot on the leg. how her necklace looks with the neckline. a double check to make sure that no straps are showing underneath, no weird lines. if there are bridesmaids, we discuss the progress. when will the out of towners be arriving? i remind her to wear her shoes around the house so they are broken in.

then i am left to make the embellishments to pin on the dress. maybe it is a simple obvious placement, or it might be more complicated, and need rearranging. the bride may come in and stand several feet away to judge what they look like from a distance. i pin and unpin until everything is balanced. the dress is carefully tried on. maybe i have to make a little adjustment. i try not to stab her with pins. she will tell me about the inevitable conflict with mother/bridesmaid/aunt who insists that she should do x a certain way. i keep a bottle of whiskey in my desk drawer for these occasions. i continue to work on the last bits and she waits. we talk about hair accessories (i usually make these with the dress embellishment), and who will be bustling her dress after the ceremony. i am very close to being done. just a few more days.

i spend the next while carefully sewing down the embellishments, blind-stitching the lining closed, and sewing on the last finishings: hooks and eyes, snaps etc. i review everything to make sure that each piece is finished: dress, bridesmaids dresses, flower brooches, hairpins, head piece, pocket squares, garters. everything neatly pressed, all threads clipped. usually the night before our last meeting before i go home from the studio.

the final fitting is usually (hopefully) two weeks or so before the wedding. the whole thing is tried on complete with lingerie and shoes. and with promises of later photos, the whole thing is taken away.

i am not sure how many of these i have done; all or a part. more than i can remember, which is difficult to admit sometimes, as i spend so much time with some of these brides. some are friends now, some i haven't seen since the day i handed them their dresses at that final fitting. i have been to many of their weddings. when i started doing this, i never thought i would be making wedding dresses, but there is not much demand for couture gowns in ordinary life outside of weddings. it kind of bums me out to know that i spend this much time on a piece only to be worn once. in victorian times, a bride would wear her wedding dress to every social engagement (to parties and to church on sunday) for a year after her wedding. in my perfect world, one would like to invest that much time and money in something that would be worn and loved over a long time, not just worn once, dry cleaned, shrink wrapped and packed in a box to be stored in the attic. every year i go back and forth about weddings; i don't think that i will ever stop doing them entirely, but i do sometimes fret about spending so much time on something that will be used only once.

(photo by chi essary of my friends dulcinea and jared's wedding june 2001)

wedding randomness part three

2008-12-30T09:55:00.000-08:00

this is the wedding of the longstockings who got married on leap day. i went to high school with the bride. we spent years together in french class. her dress is a modified version of my a-line dress (see photo below) with a higher neckline, lower hemline and is decorated with roses.

wedding randomness part two

2008-12-29T10:25:00.000-08:00

this is a reconstruction project i did this past spring/summer. i got a call from a lady who had seen one of my skirts on someone at the grocery store. she brought me her mother's wedding dress to restyle:

it was covered in rust stains, and wasn't the most flattering fit on her. we decided to take the sleeves off, change the neckline, lower the hem, add triangle gussets to the sides for a slightly fuller skirt and add surface decorations to cover the rust stains. i used a piece of the sleeve cuff for the headpiece (not pictured). we chose some tulle, vintage net, organza and hanah silk ribbon in whites and creams to make flowers that would give interest, but also blend into the surface as a whole.

the most difficult part of a custom project is trying to relate to my client how the finished product is going to look. at the beginning of a project i can come up with a concept, but the surface decoration doesn't entirely reveal itself until i am actually doing it. balance is important. the placement of the flowers serves to draw the eye up. the challenge is knowing when to stop. i worked with the client to pin the surface up over a couple of days until it achieved the correct balance, and then sewed everything down by hand.

wedding randomness part one

2008-12-27T13:21:00.000-08:00

now that it is almost the end of the year, i am going to post all the random custom projects that i have been meaning to put up. there will be a few more in the coming days.

this is a wedding project that i did with my friend nancy davis. she did most of the work, but employed me to make the felt appliques that are studded with swarovski crystals. i did the tux jacket and the birds on the skirt of the dress, she made the bride's dress. this was for a december wedding at a roadside attraction in joshua tree. a little outside of the realm of what i normally do, but once in a while, i like to push myself beyond my comfort zone.

fixing an old friend

2008-12-23T11:04:00.000-08:00

many years ago i discovered quilting. i think that if i could make my living this way, i would be a quilter. it is a secret madness, quilting. the constant eye out and collecting of calico (the printed cotton fabric used for traditional quilting) with every trip to the fabric store, and the hoarding of scraps of fabric in plastic bins. i have several unfinished quilts that i work on every now and then resting in a neatly folded pile at the foot of my bed.

about 10 years ago i made the quilt that covers my bed. it is made out of 1930's reproduction prints in bubblegum colours. a very simple design of plain 5" squares. this quilt has seen a lot. it has moved with me through several different houses, it has come camping with me, housesitting with me, it has a little of piper's blood on it from when she had her dreadful tail accident. in short it has been the security blanket of my adult life. it even came with me on my foray into the desert this past summer. it has been a symbol of comfort and home to me over the years.

about two years ago, it started to get holes. just little tiny wear holes in the top, and the binding was worn through at the edges. i decided that it was worth fixing. it all started with 7 red hearts that i sewed over the worn holes, and a binding repair. now it has graduated to 200+ hearts and counting. i sew on new hearts as needed. pretty soon it will be all hearts.

flying iron

2008-12-01T21:26:00.000-08:00

earlier this fall, i received a request to make a costume for a performance my friend lisa degrace was working on. i met lisa while making the costumes from last year's production of cocoon bird. she told me it would involve a giant skirt to be fitted over a metal frame. sounded intriguing. we met up a few days later to talk about it in person. the performance involved her crawling into and buckling herself into this skirt that she was to be trapped in until she had to fall out and get back in. she had been looking into ordering a 30' parachute to be somehow fitted to this metal frame that another friend of ours, richard cawley was building. i contemplated how to make this happen. at first we considered a long row of snap tape with a couple of separating zippers and several buckles, but after testing this, it proved to be too complicated for the actual reality of the performance. in the end, we eventually came up with a circle skirt design with a really long separating zipper to attach to the bottom of the skirt and the parachute with a few buckles for added interest.

i made the skirt part ahead of time, and on the appointed day, lisa came with the parachute and the metal frame to fit her and the parachute and the metal frame together into one piece. it was quite the wrestling match to get the parachute through the sewing machine, but we did most of it in an afternoon through trial and error.

photo: brent wear

me: what inspired you to want to be trapped in a gigantic skirt?

lisa: the image comes from two places: one was some work i was doing with my friend meshi chavez on a piece called cocoon bird. i'm not trained as a dancer, so you have to speak in story and image to get my mind around a kind of movement. in trying to get me to weight down my lower body, he told me to envision myself in an iron skirt. i just couldn't shake that image.

the rest is based on images from dreams and my inner life. it's an expression of the feeling of being alone, even when surrounded by people. i wanted my clown's universe to be sort of tiny and vast all at once, and to feel specifically alone.... like no one had ever been there, or at least had wanted to stay. but i had to look kind of glamorous too.... like a very strange fashion model or something.

photo: brent wear

me: this costume is almost the set for this piece. when considering the costume for a performance where the costume is so integral to the piece, what do you take in to consideration about the logistics of your vision, and how much do you depend on your costume makers to help in the actual function of the costume?

lisa: i am very very lucky to live in portland and know imaginiative and creative people like you and richard cawley (who built the metal portion of the skirt). so, honestly, i counted on the fact that you would know all the right questions to ask and things to do if i just told you the concept. and it worked! you had all the right ideas- like connecting the pieces of the skirt together with a sleeping bag zipper (i would have never thought of that one). i had a whole laundry list of obscure things... about how it should sound, how heavy it should be, and, most significantly, that it has to fit as checked luggage on a plane. both you and richard seemd to take each problem as a design challenge, rather than a road block. that was great.

photo: nathan gwirtz

me: you spent some time rehearsing without the skirt and just the metal frame; what changed once you had the skirt to wear and drape over the frame?

lisa: in one sense, nothing really changed... it all just intensified and clarified. the first time i got into the whole shebang....parachute skirt and iron skirt and all, i became almost immediately nauseous! because it was such a literal manifestation of a more figuartive feeling of being separated from the world. so, while it wasn't planned this way, the first thing i worked on the was the end of the piece where (SPOILER ALERT) i free myself of the iron skirt... while taking the entire fabric skirt with me. once I knew i could leave, it didn't make me as sick to be in there.

having it all together DID show me new worlds of possibility... "oh! i can do this! oh! i look like this." i didn't actually get to see what the whole thing looks like in motion until after i performed it for the first time (a friend recorded it). and i have to say.... it looks pretty amazing. i guess when i had thought about the look of it, i had thought about it more in still frames. in motion, it is really pretty trippy and beautiful.

photo: nathan gwirtz

flying iron opens in portland, oregon this weekend:

FLYING IRON
is self inflicted loneliness a blessing or a curse?

the audience sees someone "trapped by choice" in a very small world, an iron hoop skirt contained within a 30‐foot diameter dress. the piece explores the solitude of being alone, even when surrounded by people, utilizing music, movement, costume, text, and clowning.

the show is conceived of and performed by lisa deGrace, with direction from choreographer meshi chavez, massachusetts based director sheila siragusa, and master clown sue morrison. thhe costume was built by kirsten a. moore of piper ewan and metal sculptor richard cawley.

come see FLYING IRON
5 – 7 december and 12 – 14 december at 8pm
performance works northwest
4625 se 67th ave (between se foster and se holgate).
tickets are $10 ‐ $15, and can be purchased at www.brownpapertickets.com
or by contacting lisa at duchessoflevity@gmail.com
reservations are requested!

recommended for adults primarily, and children ages 12 and up. FLYING IRON is funded in part by the regional arts & culture council.

quite possible the best non-cranky bio i have written in awhile

2008-12-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

kirsten moore is mostly known for making zillions of flowers out of ribbon, but secretly she is a costume designer. when given the opportunity she dresses people they way they really want to look; maybe how we imagined we looked when we played dress up as children, but in clothes that actually fit. by day she is the proprietor of piper ewan, an independent fashion design company in portland, or.

fox fur collar

2008-10-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

sometimes i get fixated on a particular thing, that i must make or find. for the last while, i have been searching for a vintage fox fur collar. i finally found what i was looking for from an etsy seller in canada, zaama. the box finally arrived over the weekend. it is a very plush creamy colour with chocolate tipped guard hairs. after decorating it with flowers and sewing on a new hook and eye, i have been wearing it ever since. it is what i am designing my fall wardrobe around. worn on the shoulders, it goes with anything; sweaters, blazers, winter coat, camisole, lingerie. i feel a little conflicted about fur, so my compromise is vintage. there is something glamourous and comforting about having this around my shoulders. and best of all it is cheering me up.

so much of my life and my business is looking together. being put together carefully. polished. fancy. it has become an art, my art. if you see me on any given day, what i am wearing serves two purposes for me; one is to look professional (since i am in the business of dressing people, how would it look if my dress didn't reflect that?) and the other is to make me feel good. things can't possibly go well if i am wearing the wrong colour or the wrong shoes. i craft my wardrobe to support the idea of my professional life and the ideal me.

there is nothing like hearing people complain all of the time; airing their personal train-wrecks. my pendulum swings the other way. i've been accused of being too stoic; when i have my own financial crisis going on i do my best not to show it, but i definitely am one to fight with myself over self-sabotage. not always knowing when to ask for help, stubbornly waiting for my receipts to come in rather than aggressively collecting them (which makes everything come in slower). everything always works out, right? there is nothing that turns me off as much as seeing people begging for money. i keep going. even when things are really discouraging, through starving, through so many months of getting by the skin of my teeth. there has been so many good things mixed in. i tend to do everything in my power to be positive or at least appear so. i find that having the appearance of being upbeat and successful does me much better than complaining and playing the 'poor me' game. there is no middle ground between being perfect or a total trainwreck/sad sack, and while i am really hesitant to discuss my down days at the risk of not appearing perfect or together, i think that it is too much pressure and a misrepresentation for me to act like everything is perfect in my little world. to be sure, i am not sure about how i have made it for so long, and this month (hopefully) will be no exception, but things are carved so close. but wearing my best clothes on a bad day makes such a difference, and everyone should have their own equivalent of my fox fur collar; whether it is a garment, a piece of jewelry or a favourite pair of shoes.

(this post was inspired by sewphisticate a fellow etsy seller in a forum discussion about how do you combat self doubt? photo by me)

leaving my 'pet' crow

2008-08-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

back in the beginning of may i had to stop eating wheat. we had to break up because it just wasn't working for me anymore. in a fit of housecleaning, i pulled all of my open containers of wheat based products: crackers, granola, pretzels, cookies, cereal and emptied them into a brown paper grocery bag with the intention of dumping it in the compost bin. but then i felt a pang of guilt. while a good portion of this food was completely inedible (stale and old) i felt a pang of guilt about throwing it away. the bag was filled 6 inches deep. i went back and forth with myself in my head over whether it would be a good idea to feed it to the birds and squirrels that came to my turret roof to eat the birdseed that i scattered there, and i made my decision. for a couple of days, i threw hands full of this on the roof, but then one morning i just cut the top of the bag off and set the whole thing out on the roof.

a few timid sparrows were the first to visit. then came the squirrels. about a week or two in came the crows. a noisy murder of crows cawing and the choked squawks of the young crowlets drifted in through my kitchen window at promptly 8a every morning. they would fly away quickly if they saw me in the window. then they would perch on the telephone wire and caw reproachfully at me for interrupting their breakfast.

after a month and a half the animals had managed to decimate the pile. i was able to put actual birdseed out again (with a few pretzels for good measure; the crows love pretzels). and i noticed without noticing that the same crow has been coming for the summer. he was a young crowlet. you can tell the babies by their croaky voice. he comes by and is brave enough to approach the window, and leerily peek inside. he is still timid, but he will hang out on the wire outside my window, and we will look at each other for a little while every morning.

now i am about to leave for a week, and my cat is taken care of, but what about my crow. i have grown very fond of this crow, and i would be sad if he didn't return to my roof for pretzels and corn kernels anymore.

(sorry i have no photo, but maybe brent will take one for me when we get back.)

putting myself out there

2008-06-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

there is more out there in the world than the little bubble i seem to live in. today out of the blue i received an invitation from a lady in paris to join a french social networking site: http://modepass.com/piperewan

now i have sworn off of joining any new internet things, except that i get suckered into so many things under the guise of 'business.' but then why not? the more things to come up when people who are looking for me who didn't know that they were looking for me. lately i have gotten at least one inquiry email from random people who have been keeping tabs on me, which is always a pleasant surprise. i am so in my own little world here in my studio, and i forget about the rest of everything beyond. last week was a lady from switzerland. who knew?

that artist that you like? drop them a line and tell them so, we get lonely stuck in our studios staring at our work all day.

this piece sold last month on etsy, but i am considering making another just because it is such an amazing photo (by my friend amy parker www.kaizennw,com )

written up

2008-05-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

my friend, brent pointed out to me that getting written up when you are an independent v. employed are two very different things. my housemates and i, (when i had a job back in my 20's) would put our write ups for being late (or in my case wearing a too-short skirt) on the refrigerator. these days i have been getting written up, as in publicity, which is welcome and exciting v. the attempts to shut me down and control me that my former employers tried to push on me by shaming me for not conforming.

here is the latest: www. the-lingerie-post.com

come see me tonight! i almost never have sales, and they will become rarer as i can barely keep up these days (see previous post).

xx,
kirsten

piper ewan's tenth anniversary in the suspended garden of disbelief

2008-04-30T16:02:00.001-07:00

it is almost may, which brings my tenth year to a close. i have come a long way from making custom weddings out of my studio apartment. i have gone through 3 miles of ribbon, survived ten wedding seasons, put on 15 holiday sales, made over 1200 garters and i don't want to know how many flowers! please help me celebrate my tenth anniversary by coming by to say hello this month. the official date is 18 may, but i will be offering 10% off my accessories line and 30% off regular price ready to wear clothing (excluding sale and custom items) for the month of may. bring me some champagne, and i may be persuaded to make a better deal, no promises...

which brings us to:
First Friday May 2nd
6pm-12am
FREE! ALL AGES!!
OPEN TO EVERYONE!!!

the egg

534 se oak street (at grand & 6th)

Featuring LIVE MUSIC at around 10 pm by The Rostropobitches, an all-womens side project of the Portland Cello Project, sets by DJ NEALIE NEAL, DJ B.HILL, MR. ROMO and a special secret live music guest!

AND UPSTAIRS: more paintings by brent wear, fashions by piper ewan, faith jennings and a FANCY MAMMAL SUPER SALE

“For this group of paintings I have abandoned my usual practice of putting characters in my work, and allowed myself to explore the subtle abstract imagery that is present in many of my paintings, but not always noticeable. For me it is a return to the true nature of painting, to stream of conscience over composition and representation. The resulting images reflect not only complex dreamscapes, but also organic and machine like structures.

The idea for me is to create images that encourage the viewer to spend time in meditation, as if visiting a sublime, lush garden, and that the viewer will have their own emotional experience with the paintings.” ~Brent Wear

come see me first friday or by appointment. looking forward to seeing you!

xoxo,

kirsten a. moore
www.piperewan.com
shop: www.piperewan.etsy.com
blog: www.piperewan.blogspot.com

in the well worn path between where i sleep and where i work

2008-04-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

there are a few efficient ways for me to walk to work in that diagonal nearly straight line of the mile between where i sleep and where i work. the walk is by no means monotonous. there are the neighborhood cats and chickens, the birds (i know where more than a few good nests are), the giant papier mache chicken timer on someone's porch. lately i have made two discoveries that have me torn in which direction i take on the way there.

the first is the vacant lot surrounded by a cyclone fence where grass and weeds has grown up where a building once stood. in there is this family of killdeer. at first you see nothing but weeds and garbage, but you can hear their call. if you look carefully, you can see them; they blend perfectly into the landscape. i have been watching this particular family for weeks now. there is a pair of adults and four chicks. they have long stilt legs, and their bodies glide along when they move about in their search for insects. when the mother sees me she cries out in this panicked call, and all four chicks scurry about in circles and eventually disappear underneath her. her mate is nearby. he lays down in the grass; extending his tail feathers moving them so that they look like they are fluttering in the breeze, or extends a wing to appear injured. 'come eat me.' he pops up occasionally to see if i am still there, and then resumes his charade to protect his family.

the other is another filled in hole where a building once stood. now it is a field of blue flowers. that doesn't sound all that exciting, but when is the last time you stood in a field surrounded by blue flowers?

i puzzled over these choices this morning as i sat on the end of my bed sewing flowers. the sporadic weather forces me to try and time my walk to work, so i don't get drenched. i genuinely believe that the sun wants to shine. it has been this way for the past several days. the weather people keep predicting rain. i felt torn between the killdeer and the blue flowers, but today i opted for the former. as an added bonus there were a pair of canada geese. and when i was one block away from the egg the first raindrops fell, as the sky turned dark for the impending downpour, for once i had timed it just right.

photo stolen from brent wear

biding my time

2008-04-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

this is what a week's worth of work has looked like lately, give or take. all the special orders have been made and shipped, and etsy's replenished stock is hidden away in its plastic box lest it be confused with the rest of the menagerie. this has been my best month by far on etsy, and i have replenished my ribbon stock, and i even have added a few new colours to the mix. big porange flowers with feathers will be ready for next first friday. the ribbon that i make the garters has just offered new colours for the first time in nine years. i finally got that turquoise and red combination that i have been wanting to make since 2001, and i have lilac now too.

but this week of making garters and garters and garters has made me feel like i was biding my time. the accessories line has been taking off, and that is what i will be focusing most heavily on (russian birdcage veiling here i come!). no big announcement here, it's just what people are buying now. it's not like i can sell big couture gowns in portland, oregon during the big recession. after so many months of struggling, i have gotten to a place where i can start to feel like myself; which is an entirely foreign feeling. i am so used to being under constant duress, that i don't always know what to do with myself when the biggest thing i am obsessing over this week is whether or not to take the loan i have been offered to do that last big ribbon order.

at the cusp of my tenth anniversary, this isn't where i pictured myself. i am not complaining (i seem to be saying this a lot to myself lately). i am not sure where i thought i would be. i am not entirely out of the woods yet, but not struggling is a good place to start.

estrangement

2008-03-27T14:23:00.001-07:00

today i returned to one of my longest running neglected lovers, after a 8 year long hiatus sprinkled with intermittent encounters that has left me depressed and longing and completely unable to let go. i needed the time away; my heart was broken by the rest of my circumstances, and things just sort of slowly faded away into nothing. i needed to leave the obsession and dependence of my early twenties behind me in order to be able to build a more healthy relationship that was not dependent on what others thought, on money, on self-righteousness, on expectation. my poor soul, how lost i was without you, but you were there sitting under my chair for months on end waiting for me to get over the heartbreak that i held onto like a badge, of proof of another distant life i used to lead. i am tired of talking about it. i keep my music degree tucked away in my filing cabinet.

i acquired my flute, an old powell circa 1950 back in 1992. i had no idea what "an original powell with a three digit serial number" meant when i was trying instruments from my flute broker on the search for an instrument that was better suited to the demands of a college level music student on into my professional beginnings, but a little voice in my head said one thing when i heard it, "mine." and when i first held it in my hands; before i blew my first note, i felt it, "mine." it felt like mine. i can't say that about too many things, and it is really strange to say about an inanimate object. it is a difficult quirky instrument that requires some coaxing to get it to play in tune, but has a most gorgeous velvety meaty tone when i play it. i was never for the light and airy pretty sound of some, i prefer a darker grungier sound with many nuances to be discovered as i evolved as a player. i certainly have my own sound, and this is my voice. i am not a singer.

the damage wasn't too bad. i still have a good lung capacity and breath control. the bad news is that my tone isn't what is once was, and my fingers are very clunky. it will take at least a year to get back to where i was, and the longer i wait, the longer it will take to regain proficiency. i want to say this time will be different. i am stubborn in my self-deprivation. i don't do the things i need to do in order to feed myself in stubborn defiance, and a refusal to take care of myself. that should be someone else's responsibility. except that it isn't. i am completely on my own, and everything is up to me. i know it sounds silly, and i could know it intellectually, but what good is the knowledge when i kept hedging my bets, secretly wishing for someone else to drag me there kicking and screaming. i just didn't have the wherewithall to do it myself. and now there is really no other option.

the big O

2008-02-24T14:07:00.000-08:00

more publicity! i have been talking a lot lately about trying to market my stuff overseas while the dollar is weak.

http://www.oregonlive.com/business/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/business/1203731749171220.xml&coll=7

barometers and crisis panties

2008-02-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

because my brain cannot be counted on to be a very good judge of my own situation, i tend to rely on barometers to tell me what sort of state of crisis i may or may not be in. lately it has been my body. severe sugar cravings are a sure sign of depression, and puking my guts out is severe duress. i am not sure where my wit's end is. i may be at it, or have passed it up a long time ago. true a part of me is dying, but i have been wanting to kill her off for a long time. she is a bad ally. she contributes to my odd insecurities, self-destructive tendencies, self-doubt, and worst of all apathy. but i am so used to hiding behind her (and her keeping me hidden), i am not so sure what happens without her.

lately i have been on the slippery slope of gathering momentum of success, and it scares the hell out of me. i don't quite know what to do with myself. it is everything i have worked so hard for over the past ten years, and absolutely so unexpected, i don't know how to handle it. being the centre of attention may be fun at parties, but it is a whole another story when it is real live legitimate publicity. i know it isn't out of nowhere. i have been cultivating this image of my business that suited the facade of my ego, but that ego is leaving me as i fight to pull her out sinew by sinew with every last drop of bile that gets purged into the toilet in the middle of the night. i still make the same sort of things, live in the same house, work in the same studio, talk to the same people, but everything is different, raw, unfamiliar and slightly disconcerting. i am turning into the person i am in my dreams, but the waking world isn't quite as accommodating. and my tolerance for disingenuous interactions is no longer waning, it is gone. this should be really interesting.

above is a photo of my first ever pair of panties. i have been thinking about it for long enough. i haven't tried them on yet, but this begins the long design process of a possible new line; provided that i can find time for development in between accessories orders (thank goddess for etsy!) i am NOT going to call them crisis panties, btw. look for more lingerie and more accessories in the near future.

piper ewan is a featured seller on etsy!

2008-01-30T11:03:00.000-08:00

i am really excited and a little nervous. you can see the interview here: www.etsy.com/featured_seller.php

if you live in portland, come see me on first friday at the egg.
534 se oak street, pdx 6p - 12a all ages
it is the love show. for more info on that see www.launchpadgallery.org

xoxo,
kirsten
www.piperewan.com

fascinator!

2008-01-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

i learned a new word a few weeks ago on etsy. the word is 'fascinator.' a fascinator is kind of like a hat; it is a larger piece made of flowers and/or feathers worn on one's head attached to combs or a clip or a headband. hmmm, i make those! i never knew what that was called! i ran back to my listings and retagged the appropriate pieces. i love a new word! and this one was a good one.

about two years ago, my friend cate handed me her grandmother's pincushion to decorate. it has been sitting in front of me forever atop its spool of chosen ribbon; just waiting for me to make it that special cocarde flower. yesterday was a kind of nothing day, where i had to tie up some loose ends after being out sick for a week. i caught up on my flower and garter inventory, and cleaned off my desk with an hour to go before my client was to show up. what to do? the pin cushion! this pin cushion was a tomato shape, and i made a pointy petaled flower whose petals curved around the pin cushion (sorry, no photo). maybe the flower is too big, but what if i made the same flower in larger ribbon to fit over someone's head? definitely not a brooch (i gave up and started making all of my flowers on brooches so that they could be worn on things as well as in hair), definitely for the head.

here is the first one. i am not sure what i will be sewing to the back. probably a comb.

the end of the longest week of the year

2008-01-08T11:26:00.001-08:00

24 dec - 5 dec 2007 can be legitimately combined into one week. it was december 24th when i stopped moving, and decided to hold still for a moment after another grueling holiday season. i did my best to prepare for it this year; i knew what was coming, but in the end it was still two months straight of work without many breaks. and of course, a goodly amount of introspection on the fly. like it or not the solstice and the end of the year, and the time leading up to it is a time of transition. i am not one to make new year's resolutions, but december always brings about an awareness in me of what changes i need to make in my own life. in retrospect, i cannot say that 2007 was a bad year for me, but it was difficult. at the same time it was all about laying down the ground work for what is to come, as i strengthen my resolve to live on my own terms, and as i enter into year 10 of my business.

i won't bore you with the details of the longest week. there were many significant events that were profound, but there is no way for me to describe them in any significant way. what i do want to give an account of is the first friday show. if you missed it, you weren't meant to be there; that is understood. but it is a reminder to me to not blow everything off, and to be open to the opportunities and live experiences that present themselves to me.

we put on an art opening at the egg every first friday of the month, you know that, you are probably on the email list. this month's show happens to feature yvonne, a more recent member of the egg, and the show features a bunch of electric lamps. lamps weren't the entire show, but a good proportion of the show, and this is significant.

i arrived tot he egg around noon, and the whole egg was full of people preparing for the show all afternoon. as brent and i were preparing the upstairs, the lights flickered. he looked at me, and i confirmed that, yes, he saw what he saw. there was a big wind storm outside that i was barely noticing, because of the amount of activity going on inside. at five the show was coming together, but not ready (the doors would open at six). no matter, things always come together in the end. at 5:45p the power went out, and we were in complete darkness. not just a flicker, but out entirely. non-plused, we all set about looking for and lighting candles. john found his car battery bass rig, and we all cheered as 3 clip lamps were lit to continue setting up the show. the caterer was given a headlamp, phone calls were made, a generator was on the way! and the rest of us watched and waited. the food was set on the tables, the bar was open. kenneth came upstairs to let us know that we couldn't use any of the plumbing, as our system required the sump pump that worked on electricity. so no running water either.

six o'clock came and went. how lovely the space was lit by candlelight. how ironic that there was no power for a lamp show. but the show must go on. there was no way to cancel, the internet was down too. the generator arrived. a flurry of activity went on surrounding the arrival of the generator. it sputtered a bit, and died, then it started again. the lights were unplugged and replugged, and part by part the lamps lit. it was like some moment from the past, a bizarre solstice ritual, like new year's eve. the lights dimmed and brightened with the generator's inconsistent hum. we all stood around watching and cheering as each section of the gallery's lights came on. an abbreviated version of the original, but still amazingly beautiful. a shining example of community, of the egg, our egg.

with so much that could have gone wrong, and did, no one panicked. everyone pulled together and did what they could to make it all happen. and a truly memorable night at that. it was almost disappointing when the power came back on. there is something about florescent lighting that dissolves magic. but the rest of the evening was lovely too. i am sorry if you missed it, but maybe you just weren't meant to be there.

size does matter

2007-11-15T15:24:00.000-08:00

through years of custom work i have gotten to be reasonably good at fit. the transfer from my mind to a two dimensional sketch to a three dimensional garment with all of its curves and movenment is more than enough to confound even many designers. i actually enjoy the challenge of the female form with all of its idiosyncracies. the biggest challenge is to fit within a size chart. as you may have guessed from trying on mountains of clothes (how many friends have called me crying from the dressing room of the local department store):

there is no such thing as an average woman.

we are reduced to 3 measurements: bust, waist, hips. no account for height, nor proportions relating to the three, nor length of limbs nor torso. fit can be a nightmare. setting a sleeve to lay flat AND be able to move withour benefit of stretchy fabric is a definite skill. so what happens when one is forced to make pret-a porter off the rack clothing? there are always the people on the peripheries of average size X giving me advice. oh how i hate the "you should," but i do listen. i may ignore, but i do listen. i have been developing an everyone corset for months now. i think i have gotten it satisfactorily made in its curves and adjustability +/- an inch.

the challenge was first grading it into multiple sizes. this process is usually put off as long as possible. it is really tedious. i won't bore you with the details, but it involves making that perfect pattern into every size considering those size chart boundaries of bust waist hip. i have finally managed 4 sizes: 1,2,3,4. but what to call them? they don't exactly correspond to bra sizes or SML. come try one on!

PRETTY GIRL HOLIDAY SALE
16 november 2007 artists' reception and sale 6-9
17 november 2007 sale 11-5
at the egg
534 se oak street (at grand & 6th) in portland

www.myspace.com/prettygirlholidaysale

hot for the holidays

2007-10-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

i know, it's not even halloween yet, so why are you telling me i should be thinking about the holidays? because you need to think ahead to be ahead of the game, that's why. if you need a corset for the holiday party circuit (believe me, you NEED one in your closet) or new year's eve, it's time to start thinking about it. corsets start at $275. (see example above) and go up from there, but not to worry, credit cards accedpted and payment plans considered. and who deserves a gift more than you? you have worked so hard this year!

xoxo,
kirsten

photo: www.kaizennw.com

secrets show

2007-09-04T13:44:00.000-07:00

being that i am the queen of the eleventh hour, i did everything i possibly could to put off working on this piece. mostly because i didn't have a fully formed idea of it in my head. when it came down to the wire, i set about looking for already drawn birds to save a bit of time, and i came across an envelope full of papers from my previous residence; my grandfather's condo. i moved in during the fall of 2003 just after my great-grandmother died at 100, one of my best friends and i parted ways, and my grandfather was moved to hospice care with terminal cancer. i lived there until fall of 2005. that time was a dark one for me. prior to living there i was in temporary residence with said close friend after moving out of my then boyfriend's house in a hurry. i arrived with all of my belongings from storage to the place where my grandfather lived for 25 years or so, and all of it's contents. he didn't prepare to leave; everything was left intact from the day he went into the hospital. food in the refrigerator, laundry everything that one aquires over their lifetime. needless to say it was an interesting couple of years there. having to sort through his life and mine in the form of possessions was a weighty task; one that taught me a good lot of lessons, making me re-evaluate everything.

at the time, i would post open lettres on my refrigerator. it helped me work through what i needed to work through and let go of. i remember a friend standing and looking at one of the lettres in horror. i had forgotten about it, it was jsut another piece of paper collected on my refrigerator. looking at these lettres on sunday (when i finally got around to making the piece), the thing that most struck me is that i have no idea who i wrote these lettres to. i could narrow it down, they could apply to so many relationships i had. it strikes me that people really had no idea what i was going through at the time. it was a sign to me that i had managed to work through so many things.

come to the show:
opening salon style show FIRST FRIDAY 7 september 2007 6p - 1a
534 se oak street (at grand and 6th) in portland, or
as usual, i will be upstairs selling my wares with special guest vendor io herbal alchemy and usual suspects: brent wear, faith hats and jody kucinski

nothing to report...

2007-08-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

the last several weeks, heck the whole year really, has been spent figuring things out and waiting. my inner dialog has been hashing out that where to go/what to do as much as ever. the long slow burn of internal shifting has been happening as quickly as it can, which means sssllllllllloooooooooowwwwwlllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. and then there is the waiting. waiting for photos to come in. waiting for the pieces to fall into place. there are the things i can control, and then there are the things that i can't. in the mean time i am doing production work and gearing up for the holiday season, research and development, and taking time to do a few side projects. i will be putting up the side projects very soon (still waiting for photos). the long lull of august is almost over, and the fall will be upon us. i am still here muddling through, and preparing myself to hit the ground running.

left to my own devices

2007-08-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

another artist and i were atalking bout whether we felt supported by our community, and the answer we came up with was "mostly."

we've passed the mid-point of august already, and as time marches on, i am still reeling from the winter and spring. if we count september, summer is half over, and i try not to freak out over the impending holiday season. i know you don't want to hear it. i don't want to hear it. when i decided not to take on any more weddings, i fully believed that i would be able to make up for it in wholesale. i had my photographer(s) lined up, and aquired the software i needed to update my website. i had grand plans to have my look books out by february, and my website updated by march, then april. i still don't have all the photos for my look book yet. almost, but i am one photo shoot away. website? i can't really think about that.

did you know that most stores won't talk to your sales rep without seeing everything in beautiful fashion photographs? did you know that a good amount of stores in portland won't look at local designers, because the quality, design and craftsmanship of most of them are so poor? the stores here that do carry local designers want the locals to put their goods in their stores on consignment while they buy from designers out of town outright. it's like being punished for living here.

and please don't tell me that you wish you could afford my stuff. it is rude. most of my other artist friends would agree that they hate it when people tell them that, but are too nice to say it out loud. it implies that what we do isn't worth the price. if you knew what goes into this business, you wouldn't say that. i know it may not be your intention to imply that, but most often, that is how we take it. a simple "i like your work" will suffice. do you know how hard it is to sell things i created? how personal it is? (and i am not the most sensitive person out there) that doesn't obligate you to buy anything from me ever. i can't tell you how many sales i get are from people who "could never afford it." these are the sales that i appreciate most, because it exemplifies a foray into a new world of possibilites for that person. i love being their first major purchase!

that said, i have somehow managed to quell the panic i felt every day, of worrying myself sick over money and bills, of waiting to hear from my photographer, of trying to figure out how i would make it to next month with home, studio, company, self intact. would i have enough things for the next show, how to afford more materials when i am struggling with basic bills, and how to not let this completly kill my creativity. all of these issues still exist, but somehow, i can't get myself to panic over them anymore. there is my trying to make myself panic over not panicking, but that's another thing altogether.

somehow, i have managed to accomplish quite a lot this year, or at least start a good number of projects and product lines. i would think i could have figured all of this out by year nine. i have always known that i am forging my own path on my own terms. i am still learning. this can be frustrating at times. it is about faith. faith that i will be okay. faith that in myself and my abilites. and a bit of faith in humanity as well. it is a humbling process.

thank you to all who read my little rants, who take my words to heart, who make the effort to show up, to repy, to pass me along to their friends. thank you to my adversaries for forcing me to assert my boundaries. and most of all thank you to all of my studiomates at the egg; who are supportive and leave each other to their own devices to grow and find their own place. i am looking forward into the fall.

image: "portrait of kirsten as a bird" by brent wear acrylic on found wood copyright 2006

cocoon bird

2007-08-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

hello everyone!

here is the information for the dance performance i have been telling you about. it opens this wednesday, and is selling out fast! please read the information below, and click on the link to make reservations.

xoxo,
kirsten a. moore
www.piperewan.com

Theory1:dance presents:
Cocoon Bird
a pathway of dance installations through a home

Inspired by oracles and the trancelike states they would enter the work weaves together movement, voice and original music in a unique environment.

Cocoon Bird : August 8-12, with shows at 8:00 at 10:00 pm
1414 SE 32nd Ave (off Hawthorne)
Reservations Required due to limited seating: cocoonbird@gmail.com
$18/$15 students, artists, seniors

Conceived by: Tracy Broyles
Directed by: Tracy Broyles and Meshi Chavez
With: Tracy Broyles, Jenn Gierada, Meshi Chavez, Lisa DeGrace (movement)
Jean Paul Jenkins, lyd (music)
Lighting Design by: Malina Rodriguez
Costumes: Piper Ewan by Kirsten A. Moore

NOT MADE IN CHINA

2007-07-22T15:42:00.001-07:00

here i have to take issue with a subject that has been eating at me for quite some time now, and i know i am not the only one. here i am amidst the official year ten of my fashion design company. for those of you who know me, or have at least seen my work, you know how much of my life's blood has been poured into my work; in creativity, attention to details, and time. lots and lots of time.

now is a bit of a transition period for piper ewan, and there is a new project/company thrown in for good measure. in this i have been researching outside production. this is a very scary proposition. it involves letting go of a major part of what i have been doing, and doing for years. it has been taking its toll on me mentally and financially. mentally, because i am not sure that i want to compromise quality and sustainability. financially, because, well i cannot compromise on my prices.

my main complaint from people is my price point. most people like to tell me that they could never afford what i make. it is one thing from people who understand that i have to charge what i do (and also note that my prices are comparable to stores like anthropologie or bcbg), becasue of the time and attention to detail that each piece entails. it is quite another when people are so used to buying cheap clothing, that they automatically compare what i do to what they buy that is produced in china or some other third world country. this is because my designs are produced by me, and not made in china or some other third world country where labour is cheap and labour practices are unsustainable at best, and unconscionable at worst. i am not here to argue that one should not shop at target, forever 21 or anthropologie, but one should at least be aware of the costs of these cheap disposable clothing and household items. i don't particularly want to write a treatise on the loss of the manufacturing industry to the united states to third world countries, or the hidden effects of globalization on our everyday lives. you can look all of that up for yourself if you care to. the product that i produce is made to last; this is planned into the design of every garment i make. this is why i spend long periods of time in the design of every style for look and fit, and why i don't follow trend. i go for timeless or 'no time' with unidentifyable elements, so that garment isn't disposable. and while i cannot guarantee that the garment will last forever, it will last a long while, or at least can be repaired.

what i would like to call attention to is a loss of apreciation to things that are carefully made and built to last. i am really tired of the effects of instant gratification on society. being that i have a very modest income, i am forced to choose my purchases carefully. what has this done for my life? it has made me learn to make everything from scratch: food, clothes, hand-knits, quilts, art, home items. most of my luxury items are traded for, because this is the only way i can afford these things. i want to be able to use and repair the objectss i own; instead of throwing them away. why am i telling you this? because i want you to appreciate that this is what my business is built on, and this is the dilemma i end up facing as i have been researching production on product lines for two soon to be three clothing companies.

a couple of weeks ago, i was looking for sock manufacturers. did you know that there are very few american sock manufacturers? where are all the socks coming from? why, china, turkey and pakistan. not really a choice here. i can have a product produced cheaply in a third world country that i would try to avoid spening money on if it were someone else's product. or i could have a very superior product that is sustainably produced that is five times the cost. the clothing can still be produced locally, but again, the cost will be considerably higher than anything produced in china.

what i would like to promote here is a change of attitude. instead of thinking only about the immediate, what about the future? and what about doing what you can? my whole life is centered around doing what i can with limited resources. i may not always be able to buy local, but i do when i can. given the choice, i will support a friend's business over a chain store. i realize very well that this is not always feasible, but i do what i can. it involves just a little forethought, and to keep in mind just how the price of whatever you are considering for purchase came to be.

shows 5 & 6 July 2007

2007-07-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

so many shows! i know that it is a holiday week, so i am sending this out a bit early. i have two great shows this week! both are very different, so come to one or both!

first thursday:
94/7fm, p:ear, urbaca salon, and widmer brothers brewing present:
ALTERNATIVE GALA
featuring local artists:
piper ewan, brent wear, amy stoner fine art and craft, tim gunther photography, jean mcspadden clothing, eden dawn apparel, cicely b. designs, erin donley art, kara kruse photography, and p:ear kids artwork

July 5th, 2007 6p-9p

Urbaca Salon
120 NW 9th - Suite 101
Portland, Oregon 97209
PH: 503.241.5030
www.urbacahairsalon.com

this event benefits p:ear, a non-profit organization working to build positive relationships with transitional and homeless youth through education, art, and recreation to establish confidence and create healthier lives (www.pearmentor.org)

first friday at the egg:
534 se oak street (at grand and 6th)

upstairs:
and our special guest this month:
io herbal alchemy modern botanical products & gifts made in portland
piper ewan super clearance sale is continuing! LET'S MAKE A DEAL!!! and i have brand new designs that have never seen the light of day.
plus the usual suspects: visual art by brent wear, kirsten moore & jody kucinski plus faith hats and flare clothing made from recycled materials

downstairs in the launchpad gallery:

barbie meltdown theatre
an intergenerational exploration of gender and sexuality
featuring work by:
QuArt PDX : quartpdx.com
portland's premiere queer art collective
S.M.Y.R.C. : smyrc.org
sexual minority youth resource center
GenderBlendz: outsidein.org
outside in transgender/identity resource center

plus the usual dance party, snacks and cash bar. this is an all ages show! everyone is welcome!!!

sheesh, that is a lot! if you can't make it, but want to see me anyway, i am here almost every day from noonish until sixish or later, try your luck, or make an appointment.

photo: www.kaizennw.com

one thing leads to another...

2007-06-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

i made two blanks of this skirt figuring that i could get them both done in one day. this skirt took me over two weeks. so much for making more than two. this skirt's sister will be made using bigger pieces, and how long it takes for her to come together will determine the cost of the first one. all told (if you remove the time lollygagging) the first skirt took me about 10-12 hours. if i could be paid for resisting, i would be really rich right now. if i could stop resisting, i would have a lot more pieces hanging on my racks.

now that this skirt is done, it is time for me to take a cue from my studio mates, and clean up my studio. the open space in the middle has been closing in on me. the piles of unfinished projects and half-baked ideas are weighing on me. this has been going on for quite some time. it was a slow rise of the tide of resentment building in me, and that wave crashed against the shore yesterday. so i will put my bad mood to good use. i need to spend a bit of time by myself making my surroundings pretty again. the clutter is starting to get to me.

portland's creative capacity

2007-06-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

to my beloved community,

i had the privilege of attending the city of portland's creative capacity meeting on tuesday evening. (for more official information on creative capacity, see below) it was an evening of a segment of the artistic community coming together to begin a series of dialogs about how to help portland's artistic community thrive. in a room of 300+ people representing a range of portland's creatives the task seems incredibly daunting. i am not sure many can wrap their brains around the breadth and scope of the creatives who live, and make their living in this town.

i could go on a lengthy diatribe about several issues near and dear to me (education, buy local, micro-loan and programs, what constitutes community, the fragmentation and cliquyness of said "communities," the lack of accessibility of performance spaces, ridiculous fire permit and olcc regulations and the red tape one has to deal with to put on events, the implications of making one's living as an artist/musician/creative, the cost and inaccessibility of health insurance for the self-employed, the practicality of design and its importance in everyday life v. the "frivolousness" of the arts, and sustainability to name a few), but i would like to invite you to get involved. there is a disease of apathy and complacency that runs rampant in our society. we experience a certain ambivalence when it comes to activism. we are wrapped up in our daily lives. i know very well the challenge of paying bills, but i also know that it is far more difficult without the support of the community. the all or nothing attitude needs to end. many hands make light work. and for now they are only asking your opinion. i know everyone has an opinion on the subject, and now is the time to share it. you can choose the level of involvement that you can give, and i am tired of people complaining about the world, and doing nothing about it.

so please take a moment to check out the site, and give your opinion. if we show up in numbers, and speak loud enough we can make a difference.

thank you,

kirsten a. moore
www.piperewan.com

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Sam Adams"
Date: June 13, 2007 1:46:45 PM PDT
To: kirsten@piperewan.com
Subject: Creative Capacity!
Reply-To:

Friends,

Not enough money.

Making our creative community even better will take more than just finding more money for the effort. But, it is a lot about finding more money from the public and private sector.

Thank you for attending last night’s Creative Capacity Townhall. Over 350 people attended the event—representing many of the established and emerging businesses and arts organizations in the region.

Our discussion was an important starting point for forging the creative community into an effective advocacy group.

Thank you for your collective enthusiastic response to this call to action. Until we get CreativeCapacity.org further refined, keep your ideas coming on the blog at http://www.commissionersam.com/creativecapacity.

We will invite you to the next Creative Capacity Townhall in the fall after we have completed public opinion research and a series of smaller group discussions about specific topics.

In the meantime, get your colleagues, friends and patrons to sign up at http://www.creativecapacity.org.

A tremendous thanks to the Regional Arts and Culture Council, Northwest Business for Culture in the Arts, and the Portland Development Commission.

Special thanks as well to our hosts last night: The Gerding Theatre at the Armory and Vibrant Table.

To action! To advocacy! To art!

Sam

a skirt for your statuary?

2007-06-12T14:55:00.001-07:00

apparently i am in an odd job phase right now. it is amazing how much time the weddings ate up every spring/summer. done are my 12-15 hour days with my bi-monthly day off (usually to attend one of said weddings or possibly a funeral). i might make it to the river yet! (it is still early)

i made this skirt for this bust my mother made in her ceramics class. i find among the women i have made clothes for, almost everyone dislikes their belly, hips, butt or some combination thereof. it is funny that in creating this bust, she made this section to mimic the parts of her own body that she doesn't like; which is what i covered with the skirt.

attempting to design a classic

2007-05-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

just to give you an idea about creating a design from scratch, i have been working on this dress since january. it is a very simple dress, but the most simple designs are sometimes the hardest. they are like the slow movement of a piece of music; there is nothing to hide behind. no flashy distractions like ruffles or volumes of gathered fabric, just a basic contour darts and seams.

this dress is inspired by the 1960's sheath dress, but instead of an a-line from the shoulder, it nips in at the waist for definition. i was never a fan of the sack dress, as it is unflattering on most figures. i was going for a nice classic design that can be very versatile. look for this dress in cotton for summer to be worn by itself as a mini-dress or as a long shirt over pants; slightly longer and made out of silk for a simple bride's maids' dress (or summer formal or garden party dress); and in the fall out of wool as a jumper with a shirt underneath and tights or knee-socks. the possibilities are endless...

the swan has flown away...

2007-05-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

she said: "everyone will be in formal wear, and i will be the only one wearing a costume."

my kind of lady.

black swan act II

2007-05-15T17:12:00.000-07:00

he last two days have been spent coating a cheap tank top in "feathers" made out of tulle, organza with sparkly bits, and silk scraps. deconstructionist fashion at its best. triangle scraps of fabric with their ends free make the body of the swan, with the rest sewn down for texture. tomorrow we fit on the body. i can just have my client put it on, and i will pin and tuck until it is the shape we want. then we will decide what to add to the crinoline. we decided that the swan would be sleeping.

regular couture conventions are thrown out the window with costumes. costumes are a freeing experience; i don't have to draft a pattern, or worry about grading for size or making another one ever again, for that matter. the seams don't need to be perfect, and the piece doesn't have to last forever. it is a beautiful illusion meant to be seen from a distance. it is a moment, an alias.

black swan

2007-05-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

every now and again i will take on a crazy custom project that is so whacky, i just can't turn it down. this month it is a version of the swan dress bjork wore to the oscars that the whole world had to make fun of, but in black. it is for a client of mine to wear to an oscar theme party. at my suggestion, she brought me a fluffy crinoline (one of those big square dance skirts), a top to deconstruct and cover with fancy bits, and a selection of tulle, netting and sparklies.

true to form, i spent the last few days thinking about how to make the swan head. i spent most of yesterday looking at pictures of, and drawing swans. i am not too patient with myself when i am being too mental, but i have to work these things out before i can start cutting. cutting is always the scariest part; not what to do in the first place, or whether the client will like the end product, but the cutting. i hate wasting fabric due to stupid mistakes.

today i had to make a practice head first. the transformation of a three dimensional object to a two dimensional object, and back into a three dimensional object is the grand challenge of fashion design. swan heads are outside of my normal realm of design; similar, but not the same as the curves of the human form. that, and i really like to get it in the first couple of tries, which i usually do. this is a direct result of over-thinking about the logistics.

now i am thinking about the eyes. ben tried some creepy giant taxedermy eyes on the swan head, but that made it look too flamingoey (and too weird scary). i think maybe rhinestone buttons, but i will be consulting with the client on this when i see her next. tomorrow's project is to deconstruct and construct the bodice. that should be easy, comapred to the swan head. i am still thinking about it right now. if i am lucky, she will let me photograph her in it when i am done!

(i was going to put a picture of the swan head here, but my camera's batteries are dead)

what am i waiting for?

2007-05-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

muddling through the same old crap. i have to work things out in my head first, but then, what of the things that can't entirely be worked out in my mind without doing? this weeks exampled is this simple wrap skirt. it is a summer staple; nice and breezy. the challenge here was the waist band. it wraps around and needs to go through itself so the band lies flat and doesn't cross over in a bulky way. i had to think it out for two days before i tried out the design i had in mind, and guess what? it worked on the first try. so why think about it for two days?

chopped up and spit out

2007-04-17T16:03:00.001-07:00

sometimes it's just good to cut your losses, and not waste any more thread.

at war with the dandylions

2007-04-04T13:40:00.000-07:00

on my way in to the studio today i noticed that the dandylions are out in full bloom. their bright yellow heads peering from lawns, cracks in the pavement, gutters and everyone's unweeded gardens. it seems to me that most people hate dandylions and the colour yellow. i have gotten strong reactions to yellow, with people commenting on how much they hate it. almost as much as they hate dandylions with their long stubborn tap root that refuses to be wrestled out of the ground without a fight.

i understand the reluctance to wear yellow. on me, it clashes with my skin tone, which contains a good amount of yellow. it was the leper colour at the toy store. all of the assortments' yellow product was almost always the last to sell. but without yellow, my flower assortments look incomplete. yellow is the lightest colour in the flower spectrum if we would like to exclude white. yellow is a good accessory colour, and used sparingly, it draws the eye. and while yellow may clash with my skin tone, it looks great in my dark hair.

friend up! or and over-dependence on electronic devices

2007-03-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

since when did my business start to depend so heavily on my computer? i was separated from it for a couple of months due to a series of circumstances somewhat beyond my control. my whole life during this time seemed dedicated to me being reunited with my computer. and now, today, i am feeling the conditionality of my relationships with others on my proximity to my computer and my cell phone. when did this all happen? i remember a time when i had neither of these things, and i had a decent social life which wasn't dependent on me checking my e-mail or never being more than 8 feet from my cell phone.

i belong to several online "communities." friendster, tribe, myspace, photobucket, flickr, platial, etsy, yahoo, iqons, blogspot to name a few. this coupled with an actual website that sorely needs to be updated. is it really necessary for me to brodcast to the entire world my personal tribulations, relationship status, latest financial crisis, hobbies and cat pictures along with the shameless self-promotion that i can reach out to people for free? it says it's free, it does. join now! free!!! but how free is it? it eats up my time. i tend to at least try to keep up personal correspondences with potential clients and publicity people. i look at each invitation as a potential client; just like when i meet someone in person and they hand me their business card, i dutifully look at their website, and add them to my ever-growing mailing list. (as an aside: that mailing list is the most valuable thing i own, and it is the life-blood of my business) but does a "friend up" on an online community website constitute true social interaction? i can say that while i am very candid online and in person, i am very well aware that anyone can read anything i put into writing and toss out online, and i take this into consideration with each and every note, email, comment, photo and blog posted on the interweb. (more people see and read these things than you think. it amazes me just how many)and while i am very candid online, do you know me from reading my writing and looking at pictures of my designs and my cat online? this is no substitute for personal interaction in person.

don't get me wrong, the interweb has been good to me. it has garnered me international attention. it has made money for me, has given more people access to my company than anything else could. but i have my moments where i want to toss my computer off the balcony and run away. i cannot do this. i am addicted.

FRIEND UP!
people.tribe.net/kirstennotbuttergirl
www.myspace.com/kirstenmoore
www.friendster.com/piperewan
piperewan.blogspot.com
www.iqons.com/piper+ewan

and my cat has a page too:
people.tribe.net/misspiperewan

the above photo is the beginnings of a crazy quilt made out of sweater scraps. each piece is freehand machine-quilted together with the flowers sewn on top as i go. right now it is about 3' x 4' but it should keep growing unless/until i lose interest in it.

my brush with the law

2007-03-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

we went to the lawyer yesterday for a quick lesson on copyright law, trademarks, licensing and incorporation. things are happening. the lawyer put our minds at ease. the big announcement and launch will be here soon. when i woke up on 1 january 2007, i had no idea that i would be starting a new company; much less with contracts and lawyers and licenses and copyrights and trademarks. i was just sewing some characters that brent cut out on some skirts.

we are still in our phase of introductory offers. hoodies for $65. and skirts are 30% off retail.

you still need to own one, i still need the money. come see me, come see us.

tonight (1 march 2007) at the secret society ballroom 116 ne russell (west of mlk next to the wonder ballroom) 5-9ish

tomorrow: first friday at the egg 534 se oak street 7-midnight

or any other day by appointment
www.piperewan.com

learning to love valentine's day

2007-02-06T15:20:00.000-08:00

for the same reasons everyone else has i was not so fond of valentine's day. i don't feel so interested in delving into the sea of expectation and invalidation that surrounds this so-called holiday, but i have been slowly changing my mind about it. it's mostly for superficial reasons. i really like pink and red and my designs tend to be flowery and girly. what i mostly would like to say is that it is another day that we take way too seriously. it isn't about rebelion against our relationship anxiety, but a day to treat ourselves with sexy clothes, chocolate and champagne. and i am here to help!

come see me saturday 10 february 2007
at io herbal alchemy 1130 SW Alder Street
from 11a - 6p
www.io-herbalalchemy.com

and always by appointment at the egg!
www.piperewan.com

playing with others

2007-01-29T14:09:00.000-08:00

i usually use this space to write about my own creative process, but for a good portion of the last few weeks, i have been collaborating with fellow egg artist brent wear. this begun with his january collaboration show in the egg's launchpad gallery and is continuing with my p:ear gallery show "object and embellishment" that opens this first thursay 1 february 2007. i gave brent a box of felt and a pair of scissors. together we have created some interesting conversations in fiber on quilts, skirts and wall pieces. i decided it would be interesting to interview him about his creative process. and what it is like to work in this new medium.

kirsten: how would you describe your fashion sense?
brent: i like 70's clothes, bright colours, shiny objects and hats, i definitely like hats.

kirsten: how does that translate when decorating clothes?
brent: i don't think it should be too over the top. it should be subtle, but colourful and fun. it should be sneaky and playful, but it shouldn't say "wow, that outfit is really wearing that guy." because people are going to ask you about it.

kirsten: how attached are you to other people understanding your artwork as you see it?
brent: not very attached. it presents part of a story, but it's basically up to the viewer to come up with their own conclusion, and possibly tell me what they see, rather than me telling them how they should feel.

kirsten: what's your favourite colour?
brent: i'll tell you what's my favourite colour right now. right now i am very fond of pink.

kirsten: a lot of our work is about conversations and the characters' interactions. what do you think these works reveal about our relationship to each other?
brent: it is about the different ways we interct with each other through emotions and thoughts like an open ended lettre. it's symbols and feelngs you can't express in words. it speaks to the subconscious. it's why i do art. if i could express these things in words, i would be a writer.

kirsten: how does your work translate into the medium of fibers?
brent: i think it is a very fluid translation. it is colours and interacting in its own medium of textiles.

kirsten: what other mediums are you curious about experimenting with?
brent: sculpture, animtion, music. i would like to be part of the creation of the music that would accompany my art. music is already a big influence.

kirsten: how do you see music as an influence on your work?
brent: i am constantly listening ot music when i make art. it influences emotionally, and seeps its way into my work as i listen.

kirsten: what are you listening to today? i listened to the new shins record 4 times today, vampiros lesbos and the flaming lips. and yes i do like to listen to the same song over and over.

come and see what we are talking about!

first thursday at P:ear
809 sw alder in downown portland
"object and embellishment"
reception 6p -9p 1 february 2007
show runs through 23 february 2007
by chance or by appointment
www.pearmentor.org

first friday in the launchpad gallery @ the egg
534 se oak street (at grand & 6th)
"the love show" (and check us out upstairs)
opening reception 6p - 12a
gallery hours 3p - 6p tues - sat 12p - 3p sun or by appointment

wedding bell blues

2006-12-27T19:26:00.000-08:00

no, this is not a statement about my personal life. as we teeter on the edge of january, i get to try and predict what i can book myself out for the following year. i am working on my official look book and catalogue for the year, and i am trying to guess how much time i will have for custom projects; which for the most part, consist of weddings.

i have been evolving my wedding policies from the get go, in a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants/learn-as-i-go sort of way. it has been these countless dresses made from scratch that have honed my design and dress making skills to their pursnickety, precise, perfect, insanity that they have become today. they could be satisfying: i've worked in partnership with someone to start from a few pictures torn from magazines, little sketches and swatches of fabric to create some true masterpieces. i have developed some close friendships, and attended some beautiful weddings. but then, there have also been the nightmares: the indecisive, the micromanagement, the person who turns on me, because i just happen to be there. there are the insane deadlines, and the last minute fittings for the out of towners, and then there is the tight schedule. i have had many summers where i had not one day off; i watched wistfully as my friends all took the day off to go to the river in the summer heat. not me. i could not miss the deadline.

two summers ago, i swore i would never do another wedding. i swore up and down that i would do no more custom work. the end of august 2005 found me ill, completely broke, and i hadn't designed or made anything for my wholesale line for a full six months. i was done. and then last winter, i took on a few custom projects. they were suprisingly easy, once i decided that i could say no to them. my friends reaction to me taking these projects was, "oh, so you needed the money." actually, it wasn't. i like my clients and their projects were interesting.

i took them on with no trepidation, because i made a few things clear to myself, and in turn to my prospective clients:

1. that the project is something that i want to do. i can do almost anything, but if i don't want to do something, it takes so much more energy to do than i could ever be worth any amount of money. i have taken on way too many things that i have no desire to do (please do not ever ask me to do alterations!). look at my website, or come in and look at my collection. does it resonate with what you want?

2. can you trust me? i have a pretty specific design aesthetic, and a knack for talking to someone, and knowing what to make for them. i have been doing this successfully for years. i listen to you, i take clues from our conversation as to who you are and what i can make for you. when i hire someone to do something for me, i choose them carefully, so that i can tell them what i want, and then let them do their job. if you want "that exact dress" that is listed for $10,000. for $500., i am not the person to talk to. if you want something inspired by this picture or that other idea, then let's talk.

3. i have to charge for my time. i've learned the hard way, that a custom dress isn't just the time spent cutting and sewing, but also drawing, drafting, sourcing (finding and procuring all of your materials; getting your fabric wholesale, zippers, lining, interfacing, thread, hooks and eyes, beads ribbon, etc.), fitting, fitting and fitting. i know how long this takes me. i am proficient in what i do, but i need to take all of this into account. i don't get to charge for the nightmares, i haven't figured out a pay scale for that yet.

4. i need to know that we can work together. this is most important. i will talk to anyone about their project, and this first consultation is always free. it is an opportunity to feel to feel them out, what the timeline is, their budget, and what their project will entail. but most of all it lets me know whether working with them is feasible. can we get along? most weddings are 6-9 months with the last couple of weeks spent fitting and putting the last finishing details. even a simple custom project can last 2 weeks to a couple of months.

i am not quite sure how much of my time i will be able to dedicate to custom projects in the coming year, but feel free to call me for a consultation. now is the time.

and! i don't just make wedding dresses. i actually like to make fun fancy dresses, skirts and corsets too, which you can wear more than once. just wait until you see the sun dress designs i will have once i have time to make what's dancing around in my head. spring is sooner than you think.

my inability to be monogamous to one art form

2006-12-24T13:22:00.000-08:00

i am not so fond of new year's resolutions nor making promises that i can't keep. i have been sinking due to old habits. there are the barriers that we put up that once protected us, but now are a detriment to my survival and especially to my ability to thrive. i have trained myself prioritize that which i thought would give me the best gain in the short term, and in the long run it has led to apathy and stagnation. once upon a time i would have an idea in my head, and then i would have to create it right away. my excitement would keep me singularly focused until i finished it; be it an outfit, an art project, a letter, musical piece or choreography. this has given way to finishing contracts and preparing for shows, making the things that i have made time and time again that are guaranteed to sell, which has led me to the assumption that i don't have time to do anything else. i have been hiding at home, avoiding my studio, because i can't make another garter, another flower. i have been hiding at home wondering whether i should just give up: on my business, my work, my life.

it was pointed out to me by dear friends that i just wasn't myself anymore. hard for me to hear, but i was so grateful to hear it once the initial hurt wore off. the worst part is how innocently these things begun and then how they just snowballed into a desperate situation. it is easy to make excuses: i'm too busy, the holidays are depressing, these things that i really want to do are frivolous, that i have to be a grown up (whatever that means), that earth life sucks, that i can't make a difference, and i am truly very tired. why am i tired? because, playing a part takes a lot out of me. it is amazing how much time i can spend resisting something. i waste entire days resisting. resisting going to work, resisting washing the dishes, resisting filling orders, resisting getting ready for shows, resisting being alive. i don't have much to show for that part except that i am overweight, exhausted uncomfortable in my own skin and miserable.

my main challenge here is not to run away. this is how i have dealt with things in the past. this doesn't solve any of my existential dilemmas, but postpones them so that they build up to bursting at the seams, only to burst forth knocking me flat on my ass. my challenge here is to stay put, and change my habits one by one starting today.

i am giving myself until the end of the year off from work. not a huge amount of time, but enough time for me to establish a few good habits that involve trusting my gut. against all odds, every time i am proven over and over again that this is always right. in the times i have trusted myself and gone a different way, or when i have talked myself out of something or into something only to find that was the most absolutely wrong way to go. this means:

1. giving myself what i want when i want it.
2. making time to do the things i think i don't have time for such as but not limited to: playing music, dance, drawing, knitting, play with my friends, reading books, looking up words in the dictionary, wandering around and looking at things, following my distractions. i all but decided that none of these things were possible for me, because i didn't have time for them, but they are what inspires me creatively, and enables me to make my creative living. i have spent a lot of time hating what i am doing, which does not help me pay my bills either.
3. saying what i think out loud to those close to me, before deciding for them how they will react; whether an expression of affection, or a notice of self-destructive behavior.
4. movement. some sort of movement everyday, both physical and emotional.
5. time to myself. i am a solitary creature, and i need to be left to my own devices to allow me to separate my own individual voice from the rest of the world.
6. quality time with friends.

and last

7. letting go. letting go of the people i love the most. this is the most difficult challenge. my best intentions lead me to hold on and to hold on tight, but i cannot heal anyone's soul for them, nor take away their pain. if i can let them go, and trust that they are capable of healing themselves in their own way, i can honour them as an equal in how i wish to be treated. i hope i can be courageous enough to realize in my heart of hearts that this is the only way to keep anyone near me, and i know this because i feel the urge to flee when i feel anyone grabbing at me.

the most important part of the process is self-realization. only then do i have the opportunity to heal what has come up. i have come a long way in the past several months, but the teetering on the edge of "almost there" can be discouraging, which has lead to the rise of complacency and apathy.

in talking to my friends, i have found that there are quite a few people in my position; directly related to me, and we affect each other. what i do and what you do and what everyone does adds that ripple effect to the entire community. we can either feed each others' disfunction by not saying or acting upon that which we observe in each other and in ourselves. we settle in to our complacency, because it seems easy. i have been shown time and time again that this way which seems easy is the most difficult. i have made some major changes in the past several months, and then i slowed down to a trickle. why? because things were going well, and making a daily conscious effort seems like something that is temporary, because the effort is made during times of adversity, and once the adversity passes, then it is easy to lose momentum, because things are okay. and okay is usually functional, but not completely resolved. i have chosen the path i have chosen, and i manage to move along on it, but i have not mastered it by any means, nor have i been able to keep a steady pace. but with each step forward, i am making progress. my lesson here is to be patient AND keep moving forward. moving forward following my instincts, my whims and my heart. sounds easy, yes? surprisingly, it is easy compared to the alternative.

i just tend to think too much, overanalyze, and talk myself in and out of things, instead of just doing or saying; which gets me into trouble. this over-thinking, having conversations with people in my head, preemptively judging how they may or may not react, deciding for them how they feel, or what they might want, or not want, has seriously compromised me and my relationships. everyone is where they are, and by no consequence of what i say or do. my best contribution to any relationship is my personal integrity (which i am still figuring out), not to conform to my preconceived notions of how they might want me to be. i have been that pleaser for too long, and it has not served me well at all. and what i keep coming upon, is that most people don't really like her very much anyway. why is it so hard for me to just be myself? some days i hardly know who i am. i am watching myself from the outside, completely appalled by what is falling out of my mouth. this is where i need to keep that constant consciousness, because i close down and become that false version that has been hard wired to be my default version. i know no one likes her very much, i don't like her either. she is controlling and diminutive, she judges to the minutia, and will do anything to make you like her (mostly to her detriment), which makes you dislike her even more. i have to pull her out wire by wire, sinew by sinew.

muddling through the holidays

2006-11-29T18:06:00.000-08:00

i've always had mixed feelings about the holidays. having spent a good chunk of my life working in retail, with my immediate family working in retail as well, christmas was always a much needed day off in between the frenzy of catering to holiday shoppers. one year out of frustration for the impersonalness and obligation of gift giving, i vowed i would make all of my gifts myself. i have mostly stuck to this notion for over a decade. this led the way to me hosting holiday bazaars and doing trunk shows with special holiday-only products that cater to the holiday crowd. and what the heck? if they don't sell, i have less work to do for my friends and family's gifts.

here is the short list of where i will be for the first part of december:

1 december 2006 5-8p artists' reception and trunk show
2 december 2006 11a-6p trunk show
johnny sole
815 sw alder
portland, or 97205

1 december 2006 6p-12a
first friday at the egg (my studio)
534 se oak street
portland, or 97214

7 december 2006 5p-7p
the city hall winter craft bizarre
1221 SW 4th avenue (right next to portlandia)

9 December 12p-6p
the secret society ballroom sale
116 ne russell street (near mlk blvd, next to the wonder ballroom)

i hate artists' statements

2006-10-12T13:39:00.000-07:00

i really hate artists' statements. it's that essay test that i was never prepared to write. yes, in high school i stayed up too late reading the entire 'east of eden' the night before the test until i passed out in exhaustion, and i couldn't tell the story in the book from my dreams about it the next day. the lines get blurry around 3a. but i digress. i hate artists' statements. i can't cram my life into an essay very well, nor can i hire out for someone to do it for me. with anything else, i can look at other writings for an example. most artists' statements seem plagued with self-conscious stiffness and obvious omissions, or are too flowery and glossy to be taken seriously. occasionally, there is the tongue in cheek entirely made up one that mocks the establishment, but today none of these will do. i need to convey something specific, and the way to convey it "properly" eludes me. i am generally not this fake in real life.

what i am supposed to say:

kirsten a. moore is a fashion designer whose company piper ewan has been in business for over 8 years. she combines traditional couture sewing techniques with modern style. each piece is hand finished and embellished with fine detail. her designs are other-worldly and timeless with one foot in the early twentieth century and one foot in the present. blah blah blah

i hate talking in the third person.

the truth or how would i really describe myself:

yesterday i made flowers flowers flowers. i spent way too much time on the computer this morning before i make flowers flowers flowers again today. i stayed up until 3a last night for no good reason again. this has been going on for about three weeks now. i am in my pajamas at home still well after noon, and i can't seem to get in to work at a reasonable hour to save my life. i keep thinking about how i want to make corsets, how i need to order more fabric, but i am waiting for some checks to arrive that are late, which makes my bills late or in some cases, i hold my breath in hopes that checks don't bounce. and now today, i am sitting at home (and have to stay at home), because my cat is sick, and i have to write stupid artists' statements and press releases which are due in two days. some days i like to make flowers. what i really like is the satisfaction of having one in every colour combination. this takes forever, is truly unrealistic, and makes me feel insane.

everything i make takes forever. it begins by me getting an idea, and i have to make it. i dig through my pile of fabric for the right one. i draft the pattern in my size, and then i put it together as quickly as possible so i can wear it. that is the first step, and ideally that is what happens first. what prevents me form making that first step: i have to be able to reproduce it. i have to be able to reproduce it in any size. i have to be able to reproduce it in comparable fabric. i have to be able to put down what needs to be done (orders and things that pay immediate cash) to do it. this is when ideas swell in my head forever. the good news is that i am usually ahead with the ideas, so i can wait on making them. it is about 4-6 years before i have made something, worn it been asked for it, produced it, not sold it and gotten bored of it and given up on it when it makes its way into the main stream. this is first.

then there are the things that sell. do i dislike making then? no, but i get tired of production. i have made 1001 garters so far. i just placed an order for more ribbon yesterday. a nearly $300. order (and boring like buying new tires for your car or taking the cat to the vet; necessary, but not very satisfying) to make more garter bands, so that i may continue. i don't know how many wedding dresses i have made, how many skirts, corsets, etc. i especially don't want to know how many flowers i have made. i know, i need to hire someone. i have managed to let go of many aspects of the business, but now i have to find that right person it will take to train how to make what is supposedly my signature.

now, my signature. these damn flowers. i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't consider the flowers to be my signature. they are part of it. if i truly had to say, i would say that my main objective is to create functional art. it doesn't satisfy me to make something whose sole purpose is to hang on a wall. form AND function. now i have nothing against fine art. it is not frivolous to be surrounded by pretty things. i have several paintings on my wall that i love. creating fine art just doesn't interest me; which brings me to my next point: i am also fascinated by taking something that already exists, and making it better. and by better, i mean making it in a way that suits me. for example, i like corsets, but i also like comfort and breathing. by designing and producing a corset that fits to one's body rather than having one's body conform to it, is more reasonable to me. this sensibility carries into all of my designs. i like embellishment, because i like colour, but i don't just focus on embellishment. i also like simple well fitted designs that work for every day wear. i feel better when i am wearing nice clothes. i can be in a bad mood all day if i am wearing the wrong thing. such as: having to pull my tights up and my shirt down all day, or having the wrong colour on, or if i forgot my ring. i hate all these things, and they really bother me.

the thing i must return to is the forever part. it takes forever for me to make anything. it's all in the details and the details are killing me. those slip-dresses you like so much; you know, the one's with the roses around the bottom? they retail for $550. i was pleased i could get the price so LOW. there are many steps in the process of me making any garment. even if i had it manufactured by slave children in china. but it is not made in china, it is made here, and made by me. my craftsmanship is perfect. why? because if you are going to spend that amount of money on a garment, it should last. you should be able to wear it every day. i wear my zillion dollar dresses to work in my warehouse studio, to the grocery store, i crawl on the floor with my cat in them, play with my friend's baby in them. if i did a crappy job, they wouldn't be much less expensive, and i wouldn't be in business for long. bad craftsmanship is a cardinal sin, and too common. so common in fact that people seem to take it for granted in this town (which effects me too, and irritates me to no end).

that brings me back to the flowers. the flowers sell. they are the irresistible eye candy that is your consolation prize when you can't afford the garment. or worse, you can afford the garment, (you tried it on, and it looked fabulous), but "i don't know if i can pull this off." i'm tired. i can't convince you. i don't want to try. this excuse is frustrating beyond all others. why? because you don't get it. i am beyond tired of the empty promises that you are going to get something someday. (and for those of you who are just saving up, waiting for that windfall or the right thing, i know the difference between you and those i am referring to). it is discouraging to hear the empty promise, because you aren't fooling anyone. i know the difference, and i know when i am being lied to. it is not a compliment. it is a false hope, and it is just plain irritating. go shop at ross or target, and don't waste my time. for the rest who love what i do, please keep coming. i don't care if you ever buy anything. i like your company. i will continue to dress you up, and have a good time letting you try everything on. you are the ones who bring your friends, who spread the word. you are the ones who are my champions, and you are the ones who i will cut a good deal to when that perfect piece comes along that i didn't even know i made for you.

trunk show crazy and the age old tale of procrastination

2006-10-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

we have been trying to schedule this trunk show in bend for months. we finally settled on 6 october, but then we never heard back. i suggested to melissa (my sales rep), that we just keep the day open, and not bother trying to contact them anymore. we have other things to do. of course the next day they contact us with the final confirmation. great! my last wedding of the season was 30 september. so then i get a call to do first thursday 5 october. the show is corporate sponsored in a prime location with free radio advertising! and even better, it's not a fashion show. i am already stockpiling for holiday.

of course that last wedding took longer than i thought. last week was spent by me alternately feeling calm and out and out panic. deadlines have always been a necessary part of my life; or at least i assumed that. how many papers was i finishing at 2a the morning before class? or am i still blind stitching the lining in as my client is walking up the stairs to their appointment? i have gotten better. i have my book of lists so i don't forget everything, and normally as a rule, i finish everything i need to finish for a client at least one day before i see them. but old habits die hard. my house and studio always are in dire need of being spotless during a big crunch. i can never seem to leave my house on time. today i am on my computer. i should have left hours ago.

it's alright, i am multi-tasking right now. i am eating breakfast. i think i reached my breaking point last week, because i haven't been panicking. yesterday, i calmly cut out many corsets, camisoles, dresses, ruffles. hopefully i will have your size, if not i can get it to you by the end of the month. at least it isn't the same old things i am tired of already that no one has even seen yet. come and see!

THURSDAY 5 October 2006 in Portland, OR 6p-9p
urbaca salon, 120 nw 9th suite 101

94/7fm invites you to the first ever "Alternative Gala" featuring local artists, benefitting pear. p:ear (www.pearmentor.org) is a non-profit organization working to build positive relationships with transitional and homeless kids through education, art, and recreation to establish confidence and create healthier lives.

Kick back to the smooth tones from Area 54, nosh on Urban Fondue treats, and sip Widmer beverages not to mention enjoy art from local artists, Jay Moody, Eden Dawn (www.edendawn.com), Piper Ewan (www.piperewan.com), Sondra Sinay, and OF COURSE artwork from p:ear! Kick back to the smooth tones from Area 54, nosh on Urban Fondue treats, and sip Widmer beverages. The 94/7fm Alternative Gala....Food...Drinks...Art Delights......... for more information go to 947.fm keyword "gala."

FRIDAY 6 October 2006 in Bend, OR 6p-9p
Edman Fine Furniture
1020 NW Wall Street

featuring: piper ewan everyday couture and accessories, sha montana's exotic skin bags and accessories, flare by faith jennings and brunet jewelry!

to clarify

2006-09-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

it didn't begin here. this series of writings has it's origins in personal correspondence and then on tribe where i started writing about my creative process and posting pictures of what i made that day. and for those of you that don't subscribe to those awful member sites, here you go. a glimpse into my business world. this is my making up for not updating my website as regularly as i would like to. i always meant to write regular open lettres on the front page of my website, but i never got around to it. i think i am lazy, but the reality is that i am too busy. i have current photos i haven't posted. i have new designs all the time. i make custom projects that few people ever see. i keep getting in trouble for not keeping a record. aren't memories enough? i don't have much interest in living in the past.

where is the line drawn between personal and business? if we were keeping track of time, i spend more time in my studio than i do at home. and when i am out i have to hand out at least one card. shameless self-promotion has become a habit. i am still not so convinced that my life is all that glamourous, others tend to disagree. this is for you to decide.